Colours and Light | Created by Alex Wain

I’m sorry in advance for not updating this blog as often as I have in recent times. It’s not that I’ve been overly busy, I just apply the same logic to my updates as meals – only eat when you’re hungry, only post when you have something interesting to say.

I think a lot of people fail to self-censor themselves online, alerting you with endless notifications, sharing every banal, minute detail of their lives with you. It’s all just a clutter of self-obsession and endless noise. I don’t see any point in logging into Facebook to find out “Richard is a fan of sleep” or looking at Twitter to find out “Samantha just watched TV.” do you?

So whilst I don’t feel compelled to tell you what I ate last week, I do have the inclination to share with you items and topics which I hope you find some semblance of interest in.

At some point, I think we’ve all stopped and looked in the mirror, asking ourselves - what am I doing here? What am I supposed to be doing with my life? And more to the point, is this all there is? That genuine sense of being utterly directionless. Should I quit my job? Should I marry this person? Should I begin the treatment? Am I ready? I need to make this change, but how? It leads to depression, frustration and at times a sense of genuine isolation from the world. At least, that’s how it makes me feel sometimes.

Now, I’m sadly acutely aware that I haven’t made a genuine impact in the world, I’ve just lived in it. In that sense, you’re probabbly a lot like me. Very few people have changed the world (unless your Nelson Mandela, Malcom X, Bill Gates, Barack Obama, Rosa Parks, Ghandi or one of these 100) yet we all have the capacity. I don’t , however, feel I’ve even got close to trying, let alone succeeding in any minor way. I came into the world with nothing, it would be a hollow existence I think, to leave in the same manner.

Some are of the impression, that they’re changing the world by sponsoring the token child in Africa, whilst buying their $250 Nike trainers in the same day, but really they aren’t. They are merely a western cliché, crippled by double standards and an obsession for appearing to do the right thing. That is something I don’t want to be, predictable or compliant in ‘going through the motions’ , but it’s too easy a trap to fall into.

Look at how being charitable is considered to be an indication of changing someones life. The root of being charitable doesn’t always come from place of compassion, but occasionally a place of guilt. Rather than tossing a homeless person $2 from your yearly wage of $140,000 why don’t you speak to them? Offer them a shower & a bed? Make them a home cooked meal? That would be a vastly more powerful form of real change, that a token $2, begrudgingly handed over so you can lay claim that you ‘help the homeless’

Whilst I am hamstrung by my own intellectual shortcomings, handicapped by my environment and marginalized by my income, those factors shouldn’t  limit the concept of change which I effect directly, they merely alter the scope of it.

Radical ideas only exists because the majority are comfortable with routine,  wary of change or afraid to challenge perceived norms – anything outside of that is deemed a risk. But when humans overcome these barriers with curiosity, drive & passion, when there is a genuine desire to evoke change in a positive manner, be it circumstantial, inspirational, environmental, or humanitarian, it is the world as a whole which stands to benefit.

Human nature is inherent and we all have the capacity for good and bad. That’s why for example despite acts such as the Geneva convention and the outstanding work of Amnesty International, horrific cases of human torture at Abu Ghraib prison took place and Rendition is still actively used by the US military.

But one thing you CAN change is yourself, you control the scale between doing right and doing wrong, between speaking up or staying silent.

Change is often one of the hardest things to bring about, especially when it comes to one’s mental state, but more often than not, it becomes easier to accept and embrace once the process is underway, it’s that initial jolt we’re all so fearful of. That sense of the unfamiliar, new boundaries, new opportunities, unexpected twists and turns – the great unknown, both overwhelming and thrilling in equal amounts.

You can’t hope to change the world, if you’re fearful of change itself.

Alex