Colours and Light | Created by Alex Wain

Moving - by the talented photographer American Psycho UK

I was talking to a friend today, who described in sympathetic detail, the bubble she finds herself trapped in, floating in relative comfort, yet having to painfully peer out in the great expansive world which surrounds it – a limitless realm of possibilities, filled with her hopes & dreams, delicately drifting past and achingly just out of reach.

It’s a scenario I think many people can relate with, if few ever admit. It’s certainly been true for me on several occasions and I’m certainly more aware of it than I was.

That “problem” as it were, is that unmistakable feeling of the routine, of a mundane existence, of simply getting by and excelling at being exceptionally mediocre. Not last in the race, certainly not first, just somewhere, lost in the shuffle, hidden in the unmemorable middle.

Yet that burden of at least “feeling” like you have little purpose other than working for “the man” or talking your way round in circles, is often tempered with that bracing notion of wanting more, of striving for more, of wanting to BE more. At least I’d like to think the majority of people have aspirations of a better life, as buried down & waylaid as they might be at times.

But despite those urges, I think a great deal of people fall victim to just accepting their role in the world as it is and conspiring against themselves to prevent change from ever happening, by hiding behind a lack of willpower, of belief in themselves and the financial support to do so.

I know I certainly have in the past.

The actual realization of your hopes, dreams and goals requires numerous sacrifices, hours of dedication, steely determination and a single-mindedness – all of which are enormous challenges, which are excruciatingly hard to sustain over time.

You have to genuinely believe you can make a better life for yourself, that you can effect change and find not only happiness & meaning, but your true place in the world.

For many people, that’s an incredibly daunting outlook. The fear of failure and change, loom large enough, to make being content satisfactory – consigning happiness as a mere perk. Finishing in the middle of the race, is better than killing yourself trying to be first and potentially ending up finishing last.

Whilst nobody would admit to holding that viewpoint, the individuals that do, tend to be the types with unrealized dreams & bigger ambitions, married to that person who is always outspoken, without ever being passionate. Content , but not happy – c’est la vie.

I can’t see myself ending up like that, but I can fully appreciate the ease at which you could. People often tell you that “You should live every day as if it were your last” which is a wonderful notion, but not so easy to put into practice.

The morning commute in bokeh

Realistically, when you earn enough money to pay the rent but can’t afford a holiday, when you enjoy your job but can’t see any career progression, when you love the familiarity of being a local, yet yearn to meet new faces, when you enjoy doing something, but aren’t passionate about it,  when you commute, when you really want to travel, when everything is merely satisfactory and largely unmemorable – how do capture that excitement of going on holiday, the magical of seeing an old friend, or that inspiring feeling of being involved in something you care about?

How do you allow yourself to feel a greater sense of purpose in the world, when you’ve resigned yourself to settling for a life that is often routine and unassuming, complete with the occasional pipe-dream and the odd infrequent highlight?

These are the  challenges both my generation and my friends face. Just how many of them can successfully overcome them or have the inclination to do so, remains to be see.

Sadly, not everyone can come 1st.

Alex