Here in Australia, there’s a late night TV show which has been running for literally decades called ‘RAGE’. Every night, in the twilight hours they play music videos on repeat, spanning all the way back since the dawn of time.

I’ve discovered some really great artists just by watching that show, but in recent months they seem hell bent on constantly playing hipster bands with animal names – which is mildly frustrating. But it did get me thinking, if I had to put together a top 10 list of the best music videos of all time – who would I pick, why would I choose them and how on earth would I narrow it down?

Well ladies and gentlemen, here’s my selection! (It’s not in any particular order) I’m sure there’s lots of room for debate and you’re probably going to see this list and think “Well, he hasn’t included such and such” which I guess should be inspiration enough for you to make your own right? :p

Enjoy!

1. Michael Jackson – Smooth Criminal

In terms of video clips that are instant classics, few can match Michael Jackson’s ‘Smooth Criminal’ which at 9 minutes in length, was a mini movie itself (the footage having been lifted straight from his major film ‘Moonwalker’) although I could quite easily have included “Thriller” obviously!

There is just so much to like in the video, the epic opening scene with the nickel flying across the room into the jukebox, the heady mix of mafia meets theatre with truly some of the most innovative choreographing you’re every likely to see.

Who can forget that mesmerizing scene, where he leans forward at that impossible angle (it was later revealed he was able to do this by locking his shoes into the floor) and don’t even get me started on the ‘moonwalk’ – a move that captured the imagination of millions. It was the stuff of dreams, nobody had ever pulled off a move which literally caused people to go mental. I remember seeing it and totally being spellbounded as a kid.

‘Smooth Criminal’ then, a music video, that would surely make most people’s top 10 list, not only for the fantastic song itself, but the moves, the story and those simply iconic dance scenes that generations of kids & adults will forever cherish and remember.

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2. Daft Punk – Around The World

“Around the World” by the French electronic music duo Daft Punk was one of those tracks that instantly turned heads. In an era where dance music was merging somewhere between the end of happy hardcore, drum n bass & breakbeat – along came a song which was totally different, mixing funk, a little bit of house and a vocal effect few had heard before. It that didn’t get you attention, the video itself was directed by visionary Michel Gondry and choreographed by Blanca Li.

Amongst other colourful characters it features robots, athletes, synchronized swimmers, skeleton and mummies – all dancing in unison around a cirlcular platform. According to Gondry’s notes the “robots represent the singing robot voice; the physicality and small-minded rapidity of the athletes symbolizes the ascending/descending bass guitar; the femininity of the swimmgers represents the high-pitched keyboard; the “itchy” skeletons serve for the guitars; the mummies represent the drum machine.”

He goes on to note that “I was sick to see choreography being mistreated in videos like filler with fast cutting and fast editing, really shallow. I don’t think choreography should be shot in close-ups.”

The end result? A video which is fun, irreverent and makes you want to get up and dance, just like the song itself. Mission accomplished.

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3. Gun N Roses – Paradise City

At the time this video was released, there genuinely wasn’t a bigger rock band on the planet. Released on 1987′s “Appetite For Destruction” album it’s the only song on the record to actually use a synthesizer. According to lead guitarist Slash, the song itself was written in the back of a rental van as they were on their way back from playing a gig in San Francisco –which isn’t bad considering it’s probably one of the most recognizable rock anthems of the past 20 years.

The video itself is simply live footage of the band performing “Paradise City” at Giants Stadium in New Jersey whilst they were touring with Aerosmith – I’ll leave it up to you decide who has the bigger legacy.  There’s even a dash of Nazi propaganda include in the video, roughly 4 minutes in Axl Rose is wearing a World War 2 Nazi officer cap and a stage pass which bears the SS eagle – then again, controversy never was far away from Axl Rose.  Amazing voice all the same.

So there you have, one of the last true great rock n roll bands, literally at the peak of their powers and commanding the stage in such a way that really has never been done since, even Freddy Mercury would surely have been proud.

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4. HURTS – Wonderful Life

HURTS are a realitively new band and new entry on my list.

Hailing from Manchester in the UK the duo of singer Theo Hutchcraft & musician Adam Anderson released their debut album ‘Happiness’ in September 2010. It actually turned into my album of the year, such were the glorious synth pop delights on offer (think Pet Shop Boys meets New Order).

But it actually all started with this video, for their song “Wonderful Life.” There’s a clear nod to the past (see Robert Palmer – Simply Irresistible) and also a modern update to the stylish posings of Duran Duran, Bowie and Pet Shop Boys. Add in a healthy of dose of warm synth lines and a voice which is both crystal clear and soaring and you have one of the breakthrough video clips of last year.

Sharp, slick, high class and incredible track to top it all off – and just think, this is only their debut…

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5. She Wants Revenge – Take The World

I’ve mentioned my love for independent band She Wants Revenge previously, they’ve been one of my favourite artists of the 00’s simply because they’re constantly tweaking, evolving and expanding their sound. There’s no better example of this, than with their new video ‘Take The World’.

It’s concrete proof that you don’t need to have a big budget to make a great video. Interestingly enough, it’s also the directorial debut of Adam Bravin (one half of the band). He’s set about producing an elegant and classy video, complimenting a song which grows and morphs with repeated listens.

It would easily have blown out into some pretentious, slow-motion 7 minute ode to his girlfriend, but he handled the subject with grace and tact. Plus the guy clearly has got a very similar to taste to me in girls, so extra hat tip for that one.

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6. Marilyn Manson – The Fight Song

I had tremendous difficulty in trying to pick one of my favorite videos by Marilyn Manson – not just because his is literally my favorite artist of all time, but because the majority of his music clips could make a top ten list on their own. After much thought, I’ve opted out of picking Coma White, Disposable Teens, The Dope Show, Beautiful People, Tourniquet, The Nobodies, Don’t Like The Drugs But The Drugs Like Me, This Is The New Shit – all of which could easily have been included and settled for something a little unconventional.

I’ve chosen ‘The Fight Song’ taken from his most expansive & diverse record ‘Holy Wood (In the Shadow of the Valley of Death)’ which was released way back in 2001 in the wake of all the Columbine shootings.

The song title is a pun on high school and college football team anthems known as ‘Fight Songs’. The track is partly a post-Columbine statement disparaging mainstream America’s own glorification of violence among its youth. I think we can all agree that football is simultaneously one of the most violent sports and one of America’s greatest obsessions….

So it’s no surprise that the clip itself is set around a violent game of high school football between two fictional teams, “Holy Wood” (composed of jocks in white football attire) and “Death Valley” (composed of goths and social outcasts in black football attire) and whilst he’s clearly pandering to his audience – there’s no denying the delivery here is both potent and venomous at times.

“I’m trying to show that sports as well as music can be seen as violent, so I chose a traditional black vs white, good vs evil them for the video.” Stated Marilyn Manson.

The song with its heavy as hell drums & walls of guitars – literally evokes a sense of chaos, so any music video would need to capture and bring to life that sense of aggression in a very direct & visual form.

Thankfully they do, and it works wonderfully here.

With rain drizzling down, the slow motion action scenes, the band causing havoc onstage and rebellious teens having one big riotous showdown. There’s even a bit of subliminal messaging going on, at 2.14 the video briefly replaces the scuffling football players with people fighting with police riot squads.

“The death of one is a tragedy. The death of a million is just a statistic!” screams Marilyn Manson

Intense video, tremendous impact, killer track, subliminal social commentary and a healthy dose of controversy – what more do you need?

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7. Kanye West – POWER

I remember the first time I watch POWER by Kanye West, I was literally blown away. I hadn’t seen a music video like that, probably since Michael Jackson’s ‘Remember The Time’ which was equally as theatrical and surreal.

I happen to think Mr. West is genuinely talented, both as a producer and artist in his own right – but I’m always pretty much convinced the guy is a total ego-manic as well.

Those two notions are not better personified within the ‘POWER’ video (a track which will be referenced for years to come) set to footage of the man himself playing a God-like character surrounded by religious imagery. If the world’s most renowned & prolific painter of all time Michelangelo, was given months to play with the very best video editing equipment money good by – he’d probably come up with something along these lines.

There’s few music videos these days that instantly cause you to sit up and take notice, but credit to Kanye West and his team, they totally hit it out of the park with this one.

Utterly spectacular.

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8. Stomacher – Untitled/Dark Divider

I actually know very little about “Stomacher” except that they have pretty awful band name and yet wrote a beautiful song called ‘Dark Divider’. Photographer Sean Stiegemeier shot this HD time-lapsed video over the course of a year while traveling to Prague, Japan, Banff, Utah, Oregon, California and more with the band –sounds like a good gig if you ask me!

The results are astounding, in fact if ever there was an example of the perfect visuals to set to the perfect track – then this would be it.

Magical stuff.

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9. Massive Attack – Atlas Air

There’s not much to say about Massive Attack that you probably haven’t heard already. They are unquestionably the pioneering force behind the rise of the trip-hop sound, which fuses dark hip-hop, soulful cinematic melodies & dub grooves into its own unique genre. During the 90’s they paved the way for other artists influential like Portishead, Sneaker Pimps, Beth Orton & even Tricky (who himself was a Massive Attack alumnus).

Their most mainstream record, which most people will still have carefully stashed away in their now dusty CD collection was called “Mezzanine’ released in 1998 to 5 star reviews globally. It’s one of the few records that even to this day, I can listen to the entire way through and never feel compelled to skip a track.

Even now they continue to lead, innovate and operate on a higher intellectual level than most dance outfits these days – their latest clip for “Atlas Air” taken from 2010’s Heligoland record is proof of that. In fact, I’ve yet to see an animated video so stylized and sleek – it’s literally eye-candy overload. With it’s released they’ve raised the bar for visual effects & animation to a level few will match.

There’s clearly a vast array of hidden meanings and metaphors flicking around in the background, as the main character of a giant robot rabbit tears through post-apocalyptic landscapes and cities, the military and police tireless trying to hunt him.

The track itself, whilst not instant, slow uncoils and unfurls until it climaxes into a blizzard of whirling synths & spare drum loops and whilst you probably can’t dance to it, by that point you’re well aware that you’re experiencing something vastly superior to 99% of everything else out there in dance land right now.

Massive Attack and Atlas Air, a visual and audio treat, operating on an entirely different level.

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10. The Prodigy – Smack My Bitch Up

The Prodigy are another institution in my childhood music collection. I vividly remember actually when “Firestarter” was aired on TV and thousands of parents rang in the following day calling for it to be banned, on the grounds that it was going to create an army of arsonists in schools all across the UK.

Watching the video back now, it seems quite tame, but at the time when I was 14 – I thought it was the most controversial and cool video ever. Keith Flint with his head shaved into two horns and my parents raising their eye-brows at me as I declare them my new band and that “I want to be like that.” I even went as Keith Flint to a highschool stage production called “Pop Mime” where you dressed up as your favorite band and mimed to their song. People went as Oasis or The Spice Girls, but there I was, hair spray red, gelled to the max into two horns leaping around pretending I was “the firestarter.”

But in truth the REAL video everyone should have been talking about was “Smack My Bitch Up” released on 17 November 1997. It was the third and final single from the album The Fat of the Land after “Firestarter” and “Breathe” had laid waste to the pop scene. It was controversial from the get go, purely based on the name. The band defended the song, saying that the lyrics were being misinterpreted as misogynistic and the song actually meant “…doing anything intensely…”

It’s easily one of the biggest dance anthems for anyone born in the 90s – play that at any festival and the entire place erupts. The video for “Smack My Bitch Up” was thought to be so extreme that it was largely ignored by mainstream media at the time and was only air well into the twilight hours.

It was directed by Swedish music video director Jonas Åkerlund and depicts a night out in the city filmed from a first-person perspective, portraying drinking and driving, snorting cocaine, violence, vandalism, nudity and sex. The unedited version also includes a staged a hit and run incident, plus a genuine scene of heroin use. The protagonist takes a stripper home and has sex with her. As the stripper leaves with her things, the protagonist glances in the mirror and well……..there in lies the epic twist at the very end!

Phenomenal band, a true anthem and a video which dared to show your parents what you REALLY get up to a Friday night.

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Honorable Mention: Aphex Twin – Come To Daddy

Ah Aphex Twin (aka Richard D James) how could I forget? I couldn’t leave this one out now could I?

As a video Aphex Twin – ‘Come To Daddy’, defies explanation at times.

Infamous director Chris Cunningham was the visionary behind camera for ‘Come To Daddy’. It was actually filmed on the same council estate where Stanley Kubrick shot many scenes in A Clockwork Orange.

It’s rampant with bizarre and unsettling imagery, set against a grimy industrial setting. There’s old ladies being screamed at by demons, urinating animals, small freaky children who all bear James’ grinning face running around in abandoned buildings wreaking havoc and chasing people into cars. None of it makes much sense, but it is at times a quite genuinely terrifying experience and at the very least certainly disturbing.

The song is equally unsettling but it really is nothing in comparison to the video. It’s 6 minutes of pure tension – just make sure you watch it with the lights on…

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Honorable Mention: Basement Jaxx – Where’s Your Head At?

And finally, whilst we’re on the subject of disturbing videos – there’s Basement Jaxx’s classic “Where’s Your Head At” video clip – which actually is almost as well-known as the song. It was taken from their second album ‘Rooty’ and realistically is another one of those epic festival anthems up their with Prodigy’s ‘Smack My Bitch Up’. They actually sample Gary Numan’s “M.E.” and “This Wreckage” frequently in the song – it’s good seeing the godfather of electro continue to spread his influence.

I can’t even begin to fathom where the concept of this video came from, but I do know it’s awesome. When I first saw it, I thought it was just another dance track, when suddenly the video shifts gear and whizzes off into this some really offbeat territory.

The video starts out with a British man entering an undisclosed location (“the armpit of nowhere” as he calls it) to meet up with a man who claims to have “the latest thing in pop music”. It turns out the “latest thing in pop music” is actually an experiment where musicians’ brains are being transferred to monkeys! And thus commences 4 minutes of monkey’s with human faces playing instruements in a science lab, before the suddenly start tearing up the equipment and causing general havoc.

It’s a uniquie clip, because it’s just totally left of centre and out of the box. It wasn’t aiming to be controversial or even scary – but it succeeds in genuinely making you sit up and take notice because it’s just so random at times. The first thing I thought when I saw it was “W.T.F.” and basically, I instantly wanted to watch it again.

To me, it’s a real cult classic because the took some risks and lets face it, it’s a great concept. Plus I reckon it would still scare the hell out of the odd kid or two haha.

Hope you enjoyed my list, love to hear your suggestions!



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Introducing: Smoke And Silver
It must have been probably two years when it all started. My close friend Matt Knight (lead guitar) talked about starting up a little project with his friend Charlie (vocals, guitar, drums) called Smoke & Silver – a modern day rock / blues band with a nod to the past and a quick glance to the future. Just an idea, a sketch and a vision between the two of them.

They’d both been in a band called ‘Modern Life’ who’d gained some genuine commercial success, having supported the likes of INXS on the wave of their own self-titled track. But since ‘Modern Life’ had run its course, both of them took some time out to head into a new creative direction on their own.

Over 2 years, countless rehearsals, fine tuning and hundreds of hours in various studios – Smoke & Silver was born. I remember being a part of the very early recording sessions, hanging out at the studio and listening to all the ideas being put together. Even then, you could tell they had some genuine potential and true talent – they just needed to define their ‘sound’ a little more.

Fast forward since those early days 2 years ago, and it’s here that we arrive in the present day with their first video and debut track. If I had to draw a comparison, it’s a little reminiscent of Queens Of The Stone Age’s “Lullabies to Paralyze” era.

It’s called “On The Riverside” and really, rather than try and describe it using various adjectives that don’t nearly do it justice, it’s probably best if you just hit play on the video people and soak it in.

If you love it (and I’m 99% sure you will!) make sure you tell your friends about these guys – they’re ones to watch in 2011 that’s for sure

‘Like’ them on Facebook
Visit their official site.

Enjoy,



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I’ve mentioned them previously, but one of my favorite bands She Wants Revenge have just posted their first new music since their 2009 EP Up and Down. It’s called ‘Take the World‘ and is directed by band member Adam Bravin (DJ Adam 12).

It’s taken their trademark sound of dark synths and bass-heavy sound and expanded on it, with some truly wonderful results. It’s the sound of a band at the beginning of a new era and for me is up there with some of their best work to date.

You can always measure the talent and depth of a band, by their ability to continue to grow and evolve their sound.

As for the video itself, it’s simply beautiful – shot in B&W and featuring……..well my kind of girls. For his first time directing, it’s a fantastic effort, I for one would love to see Adam direct more, especially if this debut is a mere hint at his future talent.

Enjoy the video below and please, if you love it – spread the word, these guys deserve to be heard.

Their new record is due for release in late May 2011 via Eleven Seven Records.

Visit their official site
Follow them on Twitter
Add them via Facebook
View photos on Flickr

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So here it is, the brand new video from Kanye West ‘All Of The Lights’ featuring Rihanna and Kid Cudi with vocals by Fergie, Charlie Wilson, John Legend, Tony Williams, Alicia Keys, La Roux, The Dream, Ryan Leslie, Alvin Fields and Ken Lewis. (Quite a colaboration!)

Oh and for all you Rihanna fans out there, she’s looking even more yummy than usual!

I have to say, it’s actually one of my favorite tracks from his latest album ‘My Dark Twisted Fantasy‘ which by all accounts was THE album of 2010. I do think Kanye has an ego the size of the universe, but there is no denying his talent and genuine vision – its great to see someone shaking up the stale hip-hop genre, even if these days he’s a little more pop than hip-hop.

You have to admit though, parts of the video (especially the titles) are a little too similar to the opening credits of Gaspar Noé’s “Enter The Void” (video after the jump). Some are saying that this is a nod to Gaspar Noé, while others are calling it a direct rip off.

I’ll let you be the judge

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48 hours ago I commenced my first official photoshoot with a band (or in this case a solo artist called Eugene Clifford featured above). He’s the driving force behind indie band BEARHAWK.

It was a great shoot to be involved with, unexpected and inspiring. He’s such a vibrant character that he gives anyone with a camera a lot to work with – nothing was really off limits and I think that shows in the images.

I’ve handpicked some of my favourites below.

You can see the entire gallery here. I’m keen to know which (if any) is your favourite – mine keeps changing.

As you know, I’m my own worst critic but I have to say, I don’t think I fared too badly on this, my first foray into the realm of portrait photography.

Hope everything is cool with you….wherever you are in the world.



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LINKS
Official site for BEARHAWK
Listen to their music

Nothing quite like the “full force of nature” is there….

I do wonder what the artist was thinking, when they decided to draw that image – but you have to admit, they have got the expressions spot on. Everytime I see it, it still gives me a chuckle. Brings a whole new meaning to the term “Team Jacob” don’t you think?

So WHY and HOW did I come across such a finely illustrated image?

Well, over the past few months (and mainly because I’m subjected to it endlessly by my peers at work) there has been a wealth of indie bands springing up every 2 hours on various pretentious “tastemaker” blogs. It turns out though, that they have quite a bit more in common than simply playing a similar style of music.

After a little research, imagine my surprise at these 8 discoveries!

1. They all have an animal related name.
2. They have at least one song with an animal in the title.
3. They all look like tedious Uni students.
4. They all sing about the changing of seasons and usually the various activities conducted by animals during said seasons.
5. They are all branded the next big thing, by the likes of Pitchfork and Hype Machine.
6. Their artwork has a very specific aesthetic, based around yep you’ve guess it, animals, collage and primitive illustrations.
6. 95% of them suck.
7.  Hipsters love them.
8. A least one member in the band has a beard.

Now before you think I’m making all of this up, I’ve actually put together a playlist, comprised ENTIRELY of indie bands with animal names – just so you can fully grasp how ridiculous the whole thing has become. (To date I have 91, I’m trying to get to 100.)

Have a listen to my official indie bands with animal names playlist here.

Frightening isn’t it….

And the deeper I researched, the scarier it became. As I stumbled across such shockingly bad names as – Summer Cats, Sue And The Unicorn, Seabear, Owl + Moth, Freelance Whales, Bear Hands, Collections Of Colonies of Bees, Ultra Dolphins, Avery Tear And Panda Bear, Brown Bear Black Bear, Grizzly Bear, Frightened Rabbits, White Rabbits, Fleet Foxes and without a doubt, the worst of all Part Wild Horses Mane On Both Sides.

It is utterly bizarre to me, that a genre of music can be so limp-wristed and cliched. I’m well aware of the fact, that death metal bands for instance have utterly ridiculous names – but that specific genre has been around for over 20 years. These indie bands have literally only been around since the start of maybe 2004 onwards. I can’t understand, why they all have to look the same, sound the same and then give themselves the same name – it’s like this odd indie checklist they all go through prior to releasing anything.

Here’s a video from “Seabear” complete with random montages of the woods, inoffensive bland vocals that could be anyone and someone who looks pretty much like those tedious Uni students I was mentioning before.

But thankfully, help is at hand.

There is one band, one indie artist, one genuine talent, one great hope – that stands tall, looming large over them all.

Yes BEARHAWK.

Who’s music sends you into such a state, you almost forget to use adjectives. Almost.

And really, I don’t need to say anything else about them – because you should already know how amazing they are. If you don’t, please don’t embarrass yourself by telling your friends you’ve not yet heard them – that would be tragic and cause you to appear musically and culturally bankrupt.

Instead, educate yourself by visiting their official site and experiencing the creme de la creme of everything indie.

Oh and for all you hipster kids, with your touch-type-net-speak  - please abbreviate to BRHWK  - that’s mandatory for any indie loving “I think I’m a professional photographer because I’ve installed the Lomo camera app on my iPhone” fan.

Much appreciated.

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p.s. Disclaimer: I may or may not be involved with BRHWK.

Marilyn Manson has just released his brand new video for the track ‘Running To The Edge Of The World’ which is from his recently released record ‘The High End Of Low’.

A word of warning, the clip isn’t for the faint of hearted. It was directed by the man himself in a hotel room and needless to say….it doesn’t disappoint.

You can watch it below, or by clicking here

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So 5 days and 1,926 kilometers later, my whirlwind holiday with my partner in crime, the one and only Yummy Yasmin, has sadly come to an end – boooo!. (This is why I went down)

But there’s much to celebrate, in fact, so much happened in such a short space of time, that I’m desperately writing it all down to share it with you, before I forget some of the situations and highlights, in what was a frenetic and fun few days.

(I’m going to split the trip into two blog entries, because otherwise we’ll both be here all day. So think of this as the first act, with the second act to follow in a few days.)

Now for anyone that has flown to Melbourne from Sydney, this shouldn’t come as much of a surprise, but no sooner had we taken off from Sydney’s domestic terminal, we landed in Melbourne!

One of the shortest and thankfully smoothest flights I’ve ever been on (and trust me I’ve spent a bit of time whizzing around in the air) quite why anyone would consider driving for 12 hours in a crammed car, crawling along the motorway, when it’s nearly as cheap, certainly a lot easier easy and much faster to fly is any-one’s guess.

I was really impressed with Virgin Blue as whole and the longstanding cliche of their attractive, tall, slim blond air-hostess certainly got a chuckle out of me. Quite how Mr Richard Branson gets around workplace discrimination I’ll never know, but hey for eye-candy value alone, you certainly won’t hear me complaining.

During our stay, home for the next 72 hours, would be the 5 -Star Como Hotel in South Yarra, situated no less than on one of the main shopping areas in Melbourne, Chapel Street.

I’ve been to Melbourne a few times, yet never been to South Yarra before. What I’d been told held true, it’s undeniably an affluent area, similar to Paddington / Woolahra in Sydney, with lots of boutique shops, filled with lots of upper and middle class Caucasian people, all looking rather fashionable, the chaps with their Ray Bans, the ladies direct from the salon with their freshly styled hair.

The wah? Who? Erm....

And yet for all the obvious money on display, the locals fluttered past displaying an air of confidence, without ever coming close to being pretentious – which was both refreshing and rarely seen in Sydney. They didn’t seem to have to prove a point, maybe the notion that Melbourne has an inferiority complex, is merely a myth?

Chapel Street is actually a really long stretch of shops that spans several different suburbs. When you’re leaving one and crossing over into another, you can immediately feel the entire aesthetic of the area change literally from one meter to the next. High fashion outlets, suddenly morph into second hand bookstores, whilst the Prada shoes which once tapped on the sidewalk next to you, become replaced with the flip flop echo of a pair of Havana’s.

Life imitating art

One particular shop, was a Halloween store, or rather a store which pretty much had every sort of Halloween inspired, witchy, spooky, gothic attire ones little black heart could desire. It also had some fucking HUGE replica spiders dangling from various devices throughout the shop.

However, they were all unbeknown to me as I walked in (you can see where this is going right?). I turned around only to be confronted with a ginormous black hairy tarantula, legs fanned out on the ledge next to me! It was so big, heavy and bulky in its appearance, it could have literally have been used as a doorstop!

If I went to burgle a house and was confronted with that on the floor as I opened the door, rest assured I would be a mere dot disappearing over the horizon!

Rather worryingly, out of the corner of my eye, I could see another one dangling in the center of a web and to my utter horror within seconds, I started seeing them all around the shop, yes it turns out, I was literally surround by a den of large black threatening spiders in all shapes and sizes. Some where hairy, some had fangs, some were in webs and some were made of shiny black rubber.

It was the stuff of nightmares, honestly.

I’m not ashamed to admit, I have a genuine phobia of spiders, anyone who knows me well, is aware that I simply can’t handle being near them, real or not. Upon the realisation that I was almost certainly surrounded  by the damn things, the room started spinning and I felt suddenly out of breath, so I closed my eyes stumbling towards the exit, fearing that I might be confronted with even more, as I made my escape.

I was so stressed out by the whole ordeal, I literally had to sit on the street for a few minutes to catch my breath  and regain some semblance of composure

It got me thinking, though, that there should be warning signs in shops like that, for people who suffer from the very real fear of arachnophobia?

When you going to concert or a exhibit that uses strobe lights, people with epilepsy are given advanced warning, am I right? So if you have a phobia of a certain creature (and I think a high proportion of people have a strong fear of or keen dislike for spiders in general anyway), don’t you think a shop which sells them or their likeness, should providing warnings as well?

I know if they had, I wouldn’t have had to endure such a panic attack.

Yet strangely enough, it’s moments like this, which holidays are made up of, for better or worse. But, as you can imagine, I shan’t be revisiting that shop anytime soon.

Later that night, before the first of 2 Marilyn Manson shows at the festival hall, we went to an All-American themed diner called ‘Sodarock’. When I say “All-American” it genuinely was, old-skool jukebox machines blaring out 1960′s swing, a life sized Elvis Presley and amusingly enough, they even served “Spiders” (2 scoops of vanilla-ice cream into a flavored soda) on the menu.

But the real highlight of the experience came half way through our meal, when the entire staff of the restaurant suddenly leaped from behind the counter and promptly started to dance in unison to ‘Shake Your Tailfeather’ by Ray Charles & Blues Brothers Band.

Clearly rehearsed, it never the less had the entire restaurant grinning from ear to ear (myself included) in apparent confusion and surprise. Synchronized, dancing 1960′s waitress’s, rounds of applause and a yummy meal who would have thought?

Now, as you know, the main reason I flew to Melbourne, was to see Marilyn Manson on tour (dedicated fan I know!) I actually ended up seeing him 4 times in 5 days.

Marilyn Manson On Tour 2009

Melbourne Festival Hall Saturday October 10th 2009 (sold out)
Melbourne Festival Hall Saturday October 11th 2009
Sydney Enmore Theatre Tuesday October 13th 2009
Sydney The Hordern Pavillion October 14th (sold out)

Now I don’t want to bore you with all the details, if you’re not a fan, little of it will make much sense anyway, SO here’s a summary spanning the 4 shows, otherwise I’ll be here all day haha.

1. Melbourne crowds are vastly different to Sydney ones. Much more subdued and docile. In fact, most of them seem to be utterly obsessed with taking photos of themselves during the show, than actually watching it.

2. The Festival Hall in Melbourne, has a really shit P.A. system, the whole venue actually reminded me of a sports gymnasium

3.  The best show by a long long way, was the final one I saw at the Hordern Pavillion. Best crowd, strong performance and decent sound.

4. He’s certainly done better tours, but I did like the striped back approach this time. More about the music, less about the theatrics.

5. Decent setlist, would have liked to have heard something from The Golden Age of Grotesque album though.

6. He’s still got it and for the most part, was in good spirits “You do realize Melbourne, that I am the man, with the golden dick?” haha although he is looking a little older now. He’s certainly not over-weight, as the press may have lead you to believe – trust me, I got a good look being so close to the front of the stage

7. Standout track of the entire tour strangely enough, was Dope Show, crowd loved it on all 4 occasions. Lowlight, the rather flat version of Tourniquet at both Melbourne shows and ridiculously over-priced merch. $125 for a hoodie, wah?

8. He played one less song at both Sydney shows. So Melbourne, I guess you got more value of money! Tourniquet, was left out (and not replaced either) at both Sydney shows, not sure why.

9. Twiggy was awesome as usual.

10. The Sydney crowds had more energy, made more noise and had a much bigger and better mosh.

Finally, here’s some photos from Melbourne and here’s a playlist I put together, featuring some of my favorite tracks.

After the 1st show, Yasmin and I headed back to the city, on a mission to find a nice bar to see out the night with. Whilst it’s clearly a tourist destination, some of the bars and restaurants at the Crown Casino Complex are actually really good, and with a view on the Yarra River complete with soft city lighting, they turn out to be perfect place to end an evening.

Decisions, decisions....

We ended up going to a little place called Nobu where we had some rather yummy cocktails, I can’t for the life of me remember what was in them, but I do remember thinking I could pretty much drink them for eternity they were that good. It was quite funny really, going from the hooded PVC gothic hordes of the concert with their plastic cups of VB, to the sharp suits and dim lighting of one of Melbourne’s finest cocktail lounges. Nobu then, two thumbs up from me.

After that, it was back to the hotel for an amazing spa bath, THE perfect way to end the day. I really wish I had one of those in my own house, ah the novelty of hotels – I could have stayed in that spa forever after spending nearly 16 hours on my feet all day.

So there you have it, day one, easy flight, the beautiful people, dancing waiters, spiders of vengeance, sweaty goths, lip smackin’ cocktails and walks along the Yarra River at night.

Now if you thought that was decent first day, wait until I post my review & photos from the second day. A Trip To Melbourne – Act 2, will follow soon.

Until then, isn’t it about time that YOU booked a holiday? Go on, after reading all that, you know you want to haha.

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Giving a demo at the MySpace Music press conference October 1st 2009

It’s been a hectic few days, in fact the last couple of weeks have been somewhat of a blur. This is largely due to spending excessive hours @ work, in preparation for the launch of MySpace Music in Australia and New Zealand.

On October 1st, key media players across Australia were invited to come down for the great unveiling and celebrate it’s arrival at the press conference. From the major record labels (who have equity in the venture) through to established news outlets such as SMH, News Ltd, to industry coverage from the Music Network and support from the ever dependable ABC, everyone, who is anyone in Australian media, was there.

As you’d expect, there was a tremendous amount of excitement, fanfare and relief on the day. The product had been in development for over a year, with on-going rumors raising the expectation levels each and every day, however, I’m delighted to say they’ve been met & even exceeded with it’s launch. It really is a fantastic avenue for musicians and there’s little doubt in my mind, that it’s a massive step-forward for individuals who are fans of music and want free, quick and easy access to it.

As a result, Australian and New Zealand MySpace users can listen to songs & albums from over 5 MILLION artists on the site, including their extensive back catalogues.

It’s mind-boggling trying to even begin to comprehend that isn’t it

To give you an example,  Elvis Presley alone has 121 albums available on MySpace all of which you can stream in their entirety, unlimited, legally and for free.

(I’ve been listening to Daft Punk’s 2007 Alive album religiously recently).

Plus you can create your own playlists and share them with friends – just like you did with those old-skool mixtapes back in the 80′s & 90′s. Even Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd has put together his own personal playlist on the site, respect!

Those two quick examples alone, should demonstrate the reach, influence, impact and potential MySpace Music has. It truly is instant and free access for everyone who is a fan of music. Come and try it out.

Exciting times ahead

Speaking of exciting times, in under a week, I’m heading down to Melbourne to go and see Marilyn Manson play two shows there, how is that for dedication hehe, I seriously can’t wait, my version of a mini-holiday.

I’m actually seeing him twice in Sydney, so all up 4 times in 5 days, and if I’m really lucky who knows, I might even get to meet him again. If I do, rest assured I’m going to send the world the photos! His new record ‘The High End Of Low’ just keeps getting better and better with each listen.

I’ll be updating and using Twitter whilst I’m down there, so please do stay in touch if you don’t already. It blows my mind that I can take a photo from my Blackberry, send it to Twitter, which then syncs with my MySpace and Facebook accounts, allowing you guys to all view it.

I used it today actually.

I found this chap, around the back of Oxford Street, left for dead on the side of the curb, after a big night out. So I took it upon myself to prop him up and arrange him in a manner the locals would approve of….

I left him there like that, so here’s hoping he gets lucky tonight.

It’s true, I rarely fail in finding ways to amuse myself haha!

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p.s. Today I watched my beloved Sydney FC return to the top the league, Arsenal hammered Blackburn 6-2 and EVEN Norwich City won 5-1. Talk about a great weekend of football!

I’ve been laughing at lot this morning.

It’s all thanks for my recent discovery of a band called “Millionaires” who have pretty much hands down got my vote, for worst band of 2009. A shocking mish-mash of Photoshop solar flares, fluro animated GIFs, embarrassing attempts at make-up, plastic props and lyrics so inane, they make Britney seem like a wordsmith.

And I haven’t even begun to describe what they sound like. It’s probably best that I don’t, for fear of scaring you off actually. Or you could summon the strength to check out their clips below, I promise it will make your day.

I’m a fan of a well-crafted pop song, I have nothing against the novelty and inherent obsolescence that pop music bring to the world of music. But even so, there is fun light-hearted catchy pop and then there are those horribly mis-guided attempts at being credible and semi-talented. This is the latter.

Now before we get started,  these are the ACTUAL lyrics for their song called “ALCOHOL” (Which I might add, they very thoughtfully spell out for you during the song).

Ladies, take it away :-

MILLIONAIRES – ALCOHOL LYRICS:

Friday night it’s time to party
Drop it down and get real naughty
Girls talk shit, we don’t care
We’ll take off our underwear!

Come get fucked up!
Give me my alcohol
Let’s get fucked up!
A-L-C-O-H-O-L

All these boys are drinking ale
And we bust out White Zinfandel!
Yeah we’re getting pretty trashed
But these boys ain’t gettin any ass

Drink every drink that could be tasted
Look at us, we’re fuckin wasted
We stumble, mumble, no one cares
Just cause we’re the MILLIONAIRES!

Teen binge-drinking never sounded so enticing did it? And just in case you think this is actually all I joke (I admit it, I did originally) here is the video they made to accompany the song.

(If you can’t see it below, watch it here)

“ALCOHOL” Official Music Video by The Millionaires

They have over 200,000 friends on MySpace, which is rather frightening to me – I for one didn’t think it was possible for 200,000 people to have such shocking taste in music haha.  They even make The Veronica’s seem credible in comparison.

But it doesn’t end there, a few days ago they just posted a BRAND NEW VIDEO for their new single ‘Just Got Paid’ and guess what, it’s the ‘Directors Cut’ .

Now, as you can imagine, I could hardly contain my excitement. The photo above, complete with the fake monkey, plastic dollar signs, cheap-ass binki’s and fake chalice (encrusted with top of the range plastic diamonds) only served as a mere preview of the utter atrocity set to unfold.

And just when you think it couldn’t possibly get any worse, well it just did. Here’s their second attempt at a music video. (If you can’t see it below, watch it here)

Millionaires – Just Got Paid – Director’s Cut

MILLIONAIRES – JUST GOT PAID LYRICS:

Cause I just paid!
Lets get laid!

I dropped 2 stacks on this dress & it’s comin off later
With a pro skater or maybe with this waiter
And he said we’ll head home popping bottles of Patrone
With my tone on his phone all the callers unknown

Can you believe I get paid to shake my ass on stage
We’re getting drunk errrrrryday you’re makin minimum wage
We live the life you wish bitch don’t say shit!
No talent just lucky but they stilllll wanna fuck meeEEH!

So what have we learnt today? That 3 talent free girls, enjoy getting utterly inebriated and desperately seek to get laid when it comes to payday. Awesome.

Strangely enough, those two scenarios are often connected. You can always tell when it’s payday in the city, people go out, get drunk and in doing so (and with beer goggles in full effect) tend to hook up with other blurred eyed randoms.

Maybe I’m underestimating the “Millionaires“? Maybe it’s all part of an elaborate ploy on their part? A social commentary on the effects of alcohol, cash in your account and unattractive people having sex? Broken down into two horrifying videos and a wave of ridiculous photos?

Who knows? But one thing I am sure of, there will be few bands in 2009 able to knock them off their lofty status as frankly THE worst band of the year.

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