It was now our second day in Osaka and instead of heading out into the regional areas as we did the day before, we decided to go and explore a little more of Osaka city itself. Having arrived 2 days before, Dan & Jesse had already located a few landmarks for me to check out, having previously seen them at night, so seeing them during the day was a new experience for them, just as it was for me.

First stop of the day was at Dotombori, which in terms of Osaka is similar to their version of say Times Square in New York or Piccadilly Circus in London. Lots of youthful trendy types bustling around, huge neon signs and all topped off with lots of commotion and noise.

As if to highlight it, when we arrive there was an old man manically yelling through his megaphone at nobody in particular. He was clearly highly agitated about something, but literally nobody took any notice of him – which leads me to believe he might have been either drunk, mental or a religious fanatic of sorts.

Either way his message / tirade of abuse wasn’t getting through to the average person in the street – in fact the only person it did seem to spark into action was the nearby police. He was actually protesting very close to the police station itself (probably not the smartest thing to do.) so really it was just a matter of time until they descended onto him.

I’m uncertain as to what the law is regarding the right to protest and public displays of freedom of speech in Japan, but after sitting down, standing up, sitting down, standing up and steadfastly refusing to move, the cops decided they’d had enough, hauled up him and carried him 20 meters into the cop shop. Nobody seemed overly fussed.

I think he was consider more of a nuisance than anything, he didn’t seem to have any cause, flag, logo, symbol attached to him – just a old guy, barking at people and frankly annoying the majority of them.

I wasn’t entirely sure if I was even allowed to take photos of the police, for fear of being put in the slammer myself – so count yourself lucky that I was able to get a shot away! The surrounding streets were similar to what I’d imagine Tokyo to be like – full of zillions of signs, fluro banners and animated characters leering at you from the front of the buildings themselves.

The whole area had a distinctly cartoon-esque feel about it; every sign was completed with numerous exclamation marks begging you to take notice. I think the logical there, is that basically the more exclamation marks that are featured, the better or more amazing the offer is.

If you find this intense, it’s because it was. In fact, it was quite disorienting at times, because the entire district was so overwhelming – you literally didn’t know where to look. Things blinking, laughing, bleeping, pointing at and even singing to you. Here’s a robot crab for example. We visited during the mid-morning on a Tuesday, so you can imagine the chaos it would be on a Friday night, darkness all around the neon lights even more hypnotising and luminous.

We then went on a quick tour of the ‘Love Hotels’ which Jesse & Dan had discovered a few days before during their evening stroll – although both denied going to them, could it have been a case of “What goes on tour stays on tour?” I guess only they will know!

Hahaha, but in any event they were quite amusing, one was called “Puppy” and featured two plastic dogs out the front – one male, one female (don’t ask me why) and if those canine metaphors were a little too abstract (rabbits would have been more apt methinks) there was even a sign nearby which read “Spacious room for adult tossing action.” – just to avoid any confusion

It was also around that time, the subject turned to girls….

Prior to the tour, Jesse had boldly stated “I will be meeting more than a few Japanese ladies on the tour! I reckon I’ll have 5-6 on surrounding me, it’ll be awesome!”

(UPDATE via Jesse: Before I left, I heard from a few people that Japanese women go for Australian guys, and obviously, I got excited about the prospect of some crazy Japanese girl attention. But once I was there, I realised that at the end of the day, its not if you are Australian, American or Japanese that makes you interesting, its if you are interesting yourself.)

Now as much as Dan and I appreciated his confidence, we both secretly knew that was never going to happen. So during that day, we started to wind Jesse up by asking him where exactly WERE all these lovely girls, whom he was allegedly going to to be hanging out with.

After saying that “It’s still early” and “Well, we haven’t got to Tokyo yet.” We turned the corner and low and behold Jesse’s fantasy came true.

Well partly true.

True enough lets just say to put both parties at ease.

He didn’t get any kisses or hugs or requests for autographs – but he did get several rounds of laughter and many more looks of utter wonder and at times bewilderment. I can’t quite remember the conversation; I do know that he approached first, enchanting them with the few Japanese phrases that he knew. It seemed to work spectacularly because all of the girls were utterly glued to what he was saying.

It was a really genuine moment during the day, where cultures literally collided and the universal language of laughter served to prevent anyone from feeling a stranger. As we wished the girls farewell, Jesse beaming from ear to ear proudly declared, “See, I told you!” Dan and I had to agree.

Jesse 1 – Dan & Alex 0

The subject of girls brings me quite nicely onto the next seaway – the Anime district, which as I found out, was an explosion of cartoon school girls, nubile teens and scantily clad fantasy superheroes’ armed to the teeth with bazookas, guns and swords. It’s quite literally a nerd’s wet dream. There are girls wandering around trying to seduce you into various stores, all dress as various Anime / Manga characters!

The entire area was crammed with comic book stores, action figure stands and arcade machines. It took about 30 seconds before Dan and Jesse were lured into all three – basically like kids in a candy store. From initially finding the whole thing hilarious, they quickly started making purchases and saying things like “I really like the details on this one. I never knew how intricate they were.” Through to saying “This one is really cool, he looks badass. She’s hot too.” slowly but surely the started becoming Anime addicts haha.

In one of the shops I found something I had literally never seen before. It was piece of card, which served as a cover that goes OVER the top of a box of issues. On emblazoned on the front, were two (yep you’ve guessed it) girls, pretty much naked merging into each other in a lusty sci-fi lesbian affair. Underneath, and this was clincher, it said “May I Be Your Tissue?” Honestly, you couldn’t make that up! I even took a sneaky photo of it

For me personally, I found the whole thing utterly bizarre. I can certainly appreciate the artist merit in some of the artwork, much of it is astounding at times but the whole movement is a little unsettling for me. Maybe it’s because I can’t see the appeal or value of a $350 plastic figurine teen girl with bug eyes, aiming a rocket launcher in a pair of Hello Kitty bra & panties? But hey whatever floats your boat.

There’s no doubt thought it was an eye-opener, no such area exists in Sydney. It really confirmed to me Japan’s love and aspiration of remaining young at heart, it was amusing to see grown men getting tangibly excited over buying comics featuring vengeful villains and victories superheros.

Of course one thing men the world over get excited about is pornography.

And on a brief trek through the electronic district in Osaka (every shop sells hardware, software & gadgets) we walked past an adult porn shop. Maybe it was all the cartoon imagery that had been flooding my retinas all morning, but all of a sudden curiosity got the better of me and I decided that I needed to see some semblance of a Japanese girl who HADN’T been illustrated. Thus I lead Dan & Jesse behind the discreet white linen curtain and into the shop.

I say shop, but I actually mean corridor because it was at most two people wide. On both sides were rows upon rows of Japanese porn. Again, just like the comics they’re based on, it was all very schoolgirl / teen themed. The deeper you went into the shop, the freakier the DVD’s got.

I don’t actually find Japanese girls as alluring as the Scarlett Johansson & Anne Hathaway’s of this world – so its main purpose was lost on me, but it was quite a funny experience looking at the cover of girl basically doing her Uni work, then flipping the DVD over to see her getting gang banged by various guys in Wrestling masks. We all agreed it was at best absurd and at worst, just all a bit odd.

As the afternoon drew to a close, we hopped on Shinkansen – or more specifically, the bullet train. To put it into perspective, it screamed along covering 50KM in 10 minutes and yet as we all sat there in the carriage, it was silent. It apparently can crank up to 300KM per hour – scarily fast I’m sure you’ll agree.

Actually, no sooner had we got on, that we had to get off.

It was clean, fast, smooth and efficient – everything you expect from Japanese transport. It wasn’t even expensive either, costing around $12 to travel 50KM. Astounding really. So low and behold there we were, as evening fell in the depths of Kyoto.

Now I have to say, whilst I genuinely enjoyed Osaka, I really started to feel the shackles of everyday life falling off and holiday mode really kicking in during our time in Kyoto. After dropping our bags off at the hotel (which was surprisingly way more upmarket that we thought for the price!) we ventured out in the dark streets, with the icy wind of a mere 2c ripping through each of us.

As you can imagine, it didn’t take long for us to dive into the nearest bar with the light on. The décor inside, it’s audience and indeed the appearance of the bar staff themselves should have tipped us off. This was a place for the affluent, decisive and influential. Numerous CEO’s, company Presidents & industry big wigs huddled along the bar talking at almost a whisper between themselves. All casually smoking away, a low spotlight hovering above each stool, reflecting an amber glow down onto their silver hair, sharp black suits, crisp white shirts & staunch black ties.

And in we come, bursting the door wide open, the whoosh of the draft howls past all clad in countless scarfs, hats and pack backs – and at that point, all with numb faces. But even so, we were greeted warmly, designated our own private table and promptly served the local beer and a small plate of sushi.

When we got the bill, it worked out that each single beer had cost $18 each. I don’t mind paying good money for good quality, but the beer wasn’t that impressive, much less so at $18 a pop. We left the CEO’s to chatter about their employee’s into the night and headed off to Pontocho Alley – which as I’d researched previously, was home to all the major bars, clubs, restaurants and indeed the red light district of Kyoto.

Just how alive it would be on a Tuesday night, with freezing temperatures remained to be seen.

We had a pretty average meal by all accounts that night, a decent enough venue – but the whole thing felt like you were eating in a converted bank lobby with a load of University students. In fact, at one point that’s probably exactly what it was. But the service was good and more importantly the beer flowed. In fact it flowed enough for both Dan & myself to declare it was time to experience at least some form of a strip joint.

In my 29 years, I’ve actually been to 3 in my life (none of them sober) this was to be the 4th. I was intrigued as to what to expect more than anything, I certainly didn’t envisage any of us “going upstairs”.

After walking up the strip, we found a fully clothed girl standing out the front of a venue, with a sign that said “3000 Yen For 60 Minutes” with a silhouette of a girl next to it. None of us knew it was that was the sign for a show, for a lap dance, for sex, for a peepshow – no idea at all. But that’s the fun part, you’re in a foreign country, out of your comfort zone, you just roll with it. But it was at this point that Jesse suddenly became rather bashful and a little apprehensive “I don’t know man. I’m not into it. I don’t really want to go in.” giving me that puzzled awkward expression kids give their parents when they don’t want to do something. But after a little cohesion and me saying “If we don’t like it, if you’re uncomfortable…we’ll leave.” he agree to come inside.

So you can imagine our respective surprise when we were greeted by a room, the size of a large bedroom. Down one side is a long bar with two fully clothed girls behind it. Every wall, floor to ceiling was covered in autographed posters of famous tennis players and golf icons. At first I was naïve enough to believe Tiger Woods and Roger Federer had been here haha but we later found out the owner is a huge tennis and golf fan.

Odd choice of décor you have to admit. Even more odd were the circumstances we now found ourselves in. We’d all paid 3000 yen (which is about $35) and there we sat in a row of three at the bar. Behind it stood a cute girl, who spoke reasonably good English and must have been around mid 20’s. She explained to us that all the drinks & nibbles were included, you just ask her for a refill. She brought us out whiskeys and Sake; in fact my whiskey was so strong I swear she loaded it with 3 shots…not that I was complaining.

As we sat there drinking, she went on to explain that “the girls talk to you and if you want to buy them a drink you can, but its entirely optional.” So we’re collectively sitting there thinking that they’re giving us drinks to loosen us up and they’re telling the girls out the back to get ready before we go through into another room.

The whole vibe felt like a waiting area.

I even turned to Dan at one point and said “This is going to be awkward, me talking to a girl in her underwear who doesn’t speak a word of English for an hour.” But ominously 10 minutes quickly became 20 and at that point, still sitting at the bar my drunken light bulb went off.

This WAS it. She WAS the girl and this WAS the conversation.

The whole situation suddenly started to become more than a little surreal, a room covered in various multi-coloured blinking LED lights, sporting paraphernalia covering every piece of wall available, a girl teaching Jesse how to say “How long have you been here?” in Japanese (turned out it was her 3rd day on the job) and all the time I was essentially trying not to fall off my stool as Dan casually nibbled on some nuts next to me. There was even some J-Pop playing the background, adding an air of levity to it all.

For all our hopes and aspirations of Victoria’s Secret models prancing around or maybe the hint of some feather and glitter – all we got was some polite conversation, several bowls of nuts & (admittedly some wickedly potent) drinks. Over the course of the hour, we all chatted together about Japan vs Australia and all our cultural differences.

She basically acted our as tour guide telling us where and where not to go during the remainder of our stay and I came away thinking she was actually a genuinely decent person. She even admitted that she worked at RipCurl in Osaka (an iconic Australian surf shop) before at the very end of the hour giving Jesse her full name – so he could add her on Facebook.

If you look at it objectively, $105AU for one hour of unlimited alcohol & food, enlightening tourist information, Jesse got to practice his Japanese and Dan & walked out feeling vastly merrier than when we walked in. All in all, you can’t be too disappointed with that. Still I wouldn’t have minded seeing some Victoria’s Secret models floating around with a few dry martini’s in hand.

As we stumbled up the streets looking for another venue to intoxicate ourselves in, we bumped into a group of Japanese dudes, who were basically the coolest kids in town. As he had earlier in the day (and with his new found confidence after his recent Japanese lesson) Jesse again started the conversation and it quickly snowballed into one of the funniest moments on the entire holiday.

For me, the real highlight came when both he and his Japanese counterpart pulled out their respective mobile app translators. Jesse used his English to Japanese app to ask, “What are you guys doing tonight?” which they all responded encouragingly too. In return they used the default ‘hotel’ setting to say “Do you have a place where I can store my bags for 8 days please?” Which basically pushed us all into hysterics. We actually chatted to them for about 10 minutes, at one point there was even a robot dance off taking place – it was that good.

It ended with their ringleader declaring that “I. I. I love the Australia.”

With the 3 of us replying with “WE LOVE JAPAN” to much applause.

And with that, we parted ways – highlighting once again, that laughter is the greatest communicator of all.

Follow @alexwain

p.s. View photos from the W.T.F. Japan Tour

It’s always funny when you go traveling with friends – because they see sides of you that aren’t apparent in everyday situations. That’s never more brutally exposed when you wake up first thing with them, hair everywhere, looking like a zombie and (if you’re like me and a non-morning person) communicating via a series of hand signals and the occasional mumble. You’re blind as a bat when the curtains are pulled back, irritably shaken from the sweet respite of sleep with the jarring of 3 iPhone alarms simultaneously screaming for attention and THEN you have to be civil and vaguely human. Not an easy task I think you’ll agree.

But after 6 hours sleep, that was the scenario as Dan, Jesse & myself ambled around our apartment in a daze, foraging for warm clothes, camera chargers and maps, before diplomatically deciding who needed to use the bathroom more badly. It’s a scenario that was essentially repeated every morning on the trip and every morning it was as awkward as it was amusing.

This was the first ‘real’ day with the three of together and it was shaping up to be a big one. We’d done some research before leaving and found that a suburb called Iga Uneo was home to the origins of the traditional Japanese ninja. The area a housed a ninja museum, castle and booby-trapped house – every 2 hours they even had a real ninja fight taking place.

The 3 of us at some point in all our childhoods regularly fantasized about being a ninja (I know I did, but I also put that down to playing WAY too much of this, so you can imagine how excited we all were to be living the dream so to speak.

What we didn’t realize and what quickly became apparent as we were on the train was that it was literally located in regional Japan. Outside the train window, the skyline of Osaka with all its buildings and logos began to fade into the surrounding suburbs – it was a strange overcast day at the time; everything was awash in a muted grey, fading out any signs of life on a Monday morning.

Our train (and when I say train, I literally mean carriage) continued onwards and soon even the rooftops of Japanese suburbia had melted away into the background, replaced with open flat fields, rusty brown hedges and barren trees preparing for spring. We were seeing a part of Japan, well off the beaten track at this point – as the train chugged along, climbing the occasional hill and stuttering past the surrounding mountains.

After what seemed like an eternity, we finally arrived at Iga Uneo station, a stop that was just as barren as the surrounding area. And just when we starting to wonder what we’d let ourselves in for, we spotted it – a map of the area, brightly colored with pictures of ninjas and attractions, it shone like a dagger of hope in the bleak landscape.

Unusually enough, there was a single cab waiting – after we’d spent the best part of 2 minutes finger pointing to a picture of a ninja on a map, he decided he knew where to take us.

In broken English he asked us where we were from. “Australia” we all replied with mild relief that we’d found some humanity in such a remote region. His response was immediate; in fact he was so excited at that point he let go of the steering wheel to declare “Ahhhh! Kangaroo! Yes! Kangaroo! You fight! Box box yes?” before running through a series of boxing punches that would have made Mike Tyson nervous.

It was a great moment on the trip and certainly one that was to be repeated – our interactions with the Japanese always turned out to be humorous, good-natured and welcoming. And more importantly he didn’t crash the car so that was nice.

We arrived at the “Home of The Ninja” first, a classic Japanese styled house complete with sliding doors, wooden beams and opaque blinds. Our tour guide was a young girl who only spoken Japanese, but as we walked around the house she revealed countless hidden passages, doors which flipped 360 degrees, weapons hidden under floorboards, escape routes, secret spy areas, cellar doors and dark hiding places in the ceiling.

We even tried a few out ourselves, but none of us were as fast as her! It was a fantastic experience, because literally the entire house had two elements to it – walls were doors, beams were ladders, floorboards were trapdoors, we all walked away wishing our houses back home in Sydney were as entertaining.

Next we browsed the ninja museum, a small place of maybe 3-4 rooms – but containing ancient weapons, shrunken, grappling hooks, garments, even explosives and guns! There was even a hilarious dramatic “reinterpretation” of a day in the life of a ninja on TV which Jesse was transfixed by – actors leaping around in costumes at night, set to an epic soundtrack with close-ups of people squinting in the half moonlight.

But that didn’t really compare to what we were all basically there to see, which was the ninja fight in the battle arena. So we made our way to the theatre only to be confronted with a picture of a ninja dog high fiving his ninja master complete with the phrase “Ninja Show Is Rest Today”

It was all very underwhelming, because we’d been talking about it all morning – but what can you do? At the time, 12.30pm on a Monday during spring there were 5 of us there, so they probably didn’t think it was even worth putting on the show for such a limited audience, understandable but still more than a little disappointing.

Next stop of the day, was a short walk over to a ninja temple, as unique as it looked, it was also locked – which was shame, so we took a few token photos and scratched our heads about what to do next.

And then we saw it. “Ninja Castle This Way –>”

The first sighting of made me truly start to feel like I was in Japan. A 3 story white castle looming large over the area, complete with the classic Japanese curved roof and finished off with orate & intricate features.

Again there were very few people around and even less inside the castle itself. The three levels inside were by and large unspectacular, complete with token pieces of Japanese pottery, a few paintings and some maps. Although there were a few admittedly imposing Samurai outfits whilst the view of the area the top was impressive.

The foundations of the castle offered even wider views of the local landscape whilst below lay a huge rich emerald green lake. All in all, quite a startling little area.

Jesse thought it would be amusing to attempt to get a photo climbing the foundations of the castle itself, a gesture he later admitted to being “That was kinda disrespectful wasn’t it?” but as eye-brow raising as his actions were to the locals, did it make for a funny, if ill-advised photo. Spiderman goes to Japan as it were.

On our way out of Iga Uneo, we made a flying stop to another ninja museum – but this one contained life size characters of Samurai Warriors, along with some demonic looking soldiers complete in their full battle regalia. They made for some spooky photos that’s for sure, if you saw an army of these characters marching towards you – as the enemy you’d probably be legitimately terrified at times.

After we’d made our way back to humanity, we took the train to Nara district – a vastly more urban area but still with a touch of the past mixed in. Amusingly enough their mascot is a Buddha with antlers, a little unusual certainly but during the course of our evening, all would become abundantly clear….

We were there to see the  Shuni-e – or for us Westerners, the Buddhist Fire Ceremony which only happens once a year. Literally thousands of people crowd around the foot of the Todaiji Temple whilst above on the top level, the Buddhist monks set fire to huge mounds of leaves and twigs, gently waving them around on rods – the embers which fall on and drift over the audience are meant to bring them good luck over the coming year, whilst paying respect to nature and the elements.

Just from looking through all the information on the ceremony itself, visually it seemed to be a jaw-dropping spectacle but in truth its not until you are there, taking place in front of you that one can appreciate its beauty and tangible sense of spirituality.

To get there, we first had traverse the back streets and park lands of Nara itself and for me, it was just one of the many highlights of the day. We stumbled upon a 4 story temple, towering over all the surrounding park and woodlands – really was a sight to behold. It was fast becoming dusk and everything slowly began to take on a very gentle amber hue, once again there were very few people around – the whole experience was one of calm introspection and quiet reflection.

As we made our way to the Todaiji Temple, the atmosphere changed dramatically, by now it was nightfall and the cobbled stone streets were filled with people all making their way to the ceremony. There was a tangible buzz in the air, families with little children excitement etched on their faces – I think to them, this was the equivalent of say Guy Fawkes night in the UK, that same level of wonder about seeing something spectacular and unique.

And then suddenly, as we were about 5 mins away from the temple itself, this particular person appeared.

And that’s when I put 2 &2 together, regarding the mascot of the Nara region. The historical area itself filled with temples, parklands and open spaces is rife with deer! This one just wanted to introduce himself and see if we had anything yummy to eat.

It was a truly funny moment, because the last thing you expect to see are deer’s casually walking along the back streets of Japan. Many of the locals simply walked past them having seen them countless times before, but of course there were a few kids who were going bananas at the sight of this furry little person – we were too.

Finally we made it to the temple, with a few minutes to be able to take up a fairly decent position. Before the ceremony commenced the Buddist Priest read what I assume to be a prayer over the PA system and then ever so slightly you could slowly start to make out a few flickers of flame being carried up the staircase.

One by one these huge flaming balls of fire where held out on sticks from the balcony, with the audience staring up at them from below. Everyone remained silent (save for a few Ohhhh and Ahhhs), as the crackling flames lit up the surrounding area, the biting cold crisp air of 2c warmed slightly by the sheer intensity of the fire.

It was an experience to take the breath away, fire is hypnotizing at the best of times – but when it was on full display, blazing away in such a unique setting, it was a sight to behold. There was a tangible sense of wonder in the air, not only because the flames were so big but also because at one point it looked like the entire temple had been consumed in an inferno. All around, thousands of faces were lit up from the glow of the flames, eyes and mouths wide open.

As the embers rained down onto the crowd, it reminded me that despite the tragic earthquake, devastating Tsunami, worrying radiation leak and even the troublesome volcano erupting, the Japanese were trying to continue their normal lives, by paying their respects to forces outside their own comprehension – a concept that certainly wasn’t lost on the three of us watching from the sidelines.

Afterwards we headed back into Osaka for dinner and after prowling the streets in the cold for the best part of 40 minutes, I decided that we should follow two girls who disappeared down a stairwell into the ground below the street. The logic was, follow the locals

It proved to be an excellent choice, because it was by far the best meal of the entire tour. A cool, yellow dimly lit bar with lots of mid 20-somethings huddled around tables giggling away, there was even a birthday party going on in a private room behind us. With lots of laughter happening and genuine relief at getting out of the cold, we quickly ordered a wealth of dishes, beef, chicken, gyoza & vegetables and 3 large beers for each of us. We honestly ate like kings at times.

It came to a staggeringly cheap 6,000Y (which is about $65AU) back home in Australia; we would easily have paid that each. I can’t quite remember the conversations we were having, but they were easily some of the most amusing on the trip – this photo is testament to that.

And with that, a quick stop to Family Mart again for supply’s (ok ok, Asahi and Sapporo) we headed back to our hotel. It had been a whirlwind of a day complete with ninjas, castles, lakes, flames, chanting, temples and of course all those deer!

The Japan experience was well and truly in effect.

Follow @alexwain

p.s. View photos from the W.T.F. Japan Tour

Before I delve into a retrospective look at our time in Japan, it’s worth noting that whilst we were there the nation itself had been violently shaken by an 9.0 earthquake, it’s villages to the North washed away in a sweeping and merciless tsunami (taking 16,000+ lives), the  Shinmoedake volcano decided it would be the ideal time to erupt, oh and then the Fukushima Nuclear Powerplant went into partial meltdown, leaking radiation into the capital Tokyo – which by then had descended into a city rife with food shortages, countless aftershocks, residents fleeing and constant power blackouts.

And there Dan, Jesse and I were – right in the midst of it all, utter strangers in a land becoming perilous with each passing minute.

It’s for those blameless and tragic events that we had to cut the tour short. I got to spend 4 days there (due to my doctor preventing my from flying due to an ear infection), Dan and Jesse 6. The plan was 13. But when your Prime Minster and Foreign Minister issue a severe travel alert strongly advising all Australian’s to exit the country immediately – you don’t have much option.

The last thing Japan needs right now, is more mouths the feed, more people using power and more tourists needing attention and guidance.

With all that in the mind, I personally couldn’t think of a better title for the whole period than the “W.T.F. Japan Tour” because literally, you couldn’t believe what was happening at times.

We tried to stay light-hearted about it, saying that all that needed to happen now to complete the cycle was Godzilla to suddenly rise up and attack spewing fiery monster flames everywhere. We’d even had the discussion about potentially dying and came to the conclusion that if it happens, it happens.

It reached the point where we stopped watching the TV – because every station was tolling the bell for the onset of Armageddon. We were supposed to be on holiday after all.

Thankfully we’re all back home in Sydney safe thanks to the Australian Government and Jetstar and I’m pleased to report that so far none of us are glowing or have grown a second head – so that’s a huge positive.

But let me tell you, there were SO many positives during our time there, the good eclipsed and trumped the bad. Constantly. Make no mistake, these were some of the darkest days Japan has experience in centuries, but they are handling them with calm, grace, resolve and above all dignity.

What is abundantly clear is that Japan really has made a very dear and new friend in all 3 of us. And that’s what I’m going to focus on in this blog – because with all the news reports of the impending end of the world, it would be nice to actually have a sense of perspective and balance.

If I tried to describe the entire trip in one blog, you would literally be sitting here reading this for days on end – so I’m going to split the days into various posts, to make it bite sized and more manageable. I know in this day and age, like me you only have enough time to spend 2 mins doing something before you’re off doing something else! I’m also only going to cover the days when I was there, I’m sure Jesse and Dan will post their thoughts on their trip in due course.

We’re also in the process of putting together a video, featuring all the experiences, sights and sounds we recorded during the tour – a nice summary of the entire trip as it were, so I’ll  be posting that in a few days time.

So with 4 days up our sleeves, what did we get up to?

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First Night: Sunday Night 13th March

After travelling for the best part of 18hrs from Sydney to Cairns, Cairns to Osaka and amid various delays, I made it to Japan late at night. Greeting me at the airport station were Dan & Jesse, gleefully holding up a sign which read “WAIN TRAIN” just like those chauffeurs who have the dubious task of collecting strangers from international flights.

It was a nice touch and provided a little bit of light relief, from what had been up until that point quite a tedious day of airport lounges, passport control, immigration, customs, 80’s styled carpets and fluro lighting.

Having spent 2 nights in Osaka previously, the guys had a found a local bar right next to our hotel, amusingly enough called ‘Skippy’s’ although there was no kangaroo paraphernalia to be seen. Earlier that day, Jesse & Dan had made the trip (literally a 2 min walk from the hotel) to visit Osaka Castle (covered in my preview blog) and both were impressed by its rich heritage and imposing presence.

After a few more beers and with jetlag kicking in, we quickly went to Family Mart, which essentially is like the 7/11 of Japan – except way cheaper. They have all sorts of things in there, from sandwiches to baked breads, through to pantyhose porn and alcohol. Yep, you read that correctly, you can by alcohol from the convenience store! We stumbled across a few hilarious items, like ‘Watering Kissmint Breath Shower’ chewing gum and even cheese flavoured ice cream.

In the 48 hrs he’d been there, Jesse was declaring (to pretty much anyone who would listen) that “Family Mart sandwiches are the best sandwiches you’ll ever eat.” So of course I had to try one. Props to him, they weren’t bad and they get bonus points for cutting the crusts off, but the best sandwich EVER? Have to disagree with him there haha.

Once we finished munching away on various late night snacks, we retired back to the hotel – a decent enough apartment with three bedrooms, views of Osaka and a rather interesting sit down shower / bath combination – where bizarrely you actually sat down in the bath and then used the shower house bolted into the side of it to wash yourself. It certainly wouldn’t be the first unusual experience in a bathroom in Japan that’s for sure!

After stealing some toothpaste (a trend I would continue during the entire trip) and watching the unfolding crisis on Japanese TV and via the hotel Wi-Fi (all our friends Facebook & Twitter were in hysterics), we crashed out in our respective rooms at 3am. Alarm’s were set for 9am, with the trip to Iga Ueno (home of the infamous ninja) set to commence in a mere 6 hours.

In surreal times, the holiday had begun.

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p.s. View photos from the W.T.F. Japan Tour

“Cool, strange, wacky, weird, cultural, big, fast, colourful, busy, edgy, wonderful, inspiring, courteousness – I want to see it all.” Dan ‘Muchacho’ Reyes March 2011

W.T.F Japan Tour: Tokyo Preview
Third Stop – March 16th

Tokyo is not only the capital of Japan it’s also the world’s most populous metropolitan area with 35 to 39 million people (depending on definition) and the world’s largest metropolitan economy with a GDP of US $1.479 trillion – surpassing even New York City. Along with 39,000,000 everyday folks, Tokyo is home to the seat of the Japanese government, The Imperial Palace and indeed the Japanese Imperial Family.

As recently as 2010 Tokyo was named the second most expensive city in the world and yet also named the fourth Most Livable City – great if you’ve got money it seems. The Michelin Guide (a world-renowned food rating body) has awarded it by far the most Michelin stars of any capital in the world. In fact Tokyo has more Michelin stars than the combined score of Paris, Hong Kong, New York, LA and London – so looks like we’re set to be spoilt for choice on the food front!

But when it truly comes to the sights & sounds of Tokyo, where on earth do you begin? Now Sydney yes may have the Opera House, New York you may have The Empire State Building, France you even have the Effiel Tower – but seriously, none of them top this….

A giant robot, just standing there, out in the open, protecting the city from Godzilla. Words simply cannot describe the awesomeness of that picture. You can find out more about Giant Gundam (that’s his name) here

Last week, Tokyo held it’s 2011 Marathon. Normally, pretty much everywhere else in the world where marathons are held, participants don their high performance running gear, Nike trainers, pack the Powerade, load up the iPod shuffle and set out to pound the pavement for numerous hours.

In Tokyo, they just wear stuff like this.

View more photos here.

It made me wonder….if they wear fancy dress purely to go for a jog, what do they wear during the rest of the day?

Funnily enough that question is answered, via a quick Sunday trip to the Harajuku suburb.

Apparently every Sunday, young people dressed in a variety of styles including gothic lolita, visual kei, and decora spend the day in Harajuku socializing – as you do. It certainly makes a change from all the ginger moustaches and pretentious hipster types now rife throughout inner Sydney that’s for sure! So expect to see lots of happy snaps of people basically looking like extra’s from Pokemon.

We actually have 7 days in Tokyo itself, so hopefully that will be enough time to also visit: The electronics captial of the pretty much the world Akihabara, Shibuya with all it’s colour, those beautiful gardens in Rikugien, spend a few nights painting the town red in Roppongi, then be inspired by the art at the Mori Museum, stare in wonder at the animation studio housed within Ghibli Museum, enjoy the hustle and bustle of the Ameyoko markets, view some of the old-skool Tokyo at Asakusa, before switching gears to the more modern area of Odaiba and at some point ending up in the seedy red light area of Kabukicho at 3am wondering why I we all just ordered another round of Sake.

In terms of other notable landmarks, you can’t go past the Tokyo Imperial Palace with its rich tradition and for those postcard views, we’ll be heading up to the Tokyo Tower being the token snap-happy tourists I’m sure!

And finally, for the sheer novelty value alone, we might have the odd power nap, in one of those futuristic time capsules! You get air con and even a TV, just try not to think about the fact that there are 400 people surrounding you from all sides, also in the same plastic coffin.

Now that we’ve concluded the W.T.F. Japan Tour Preview, covering Osaka, Kyoto and Japan itself and despite all the best laid intentions to do all of those things, I’m sure there will be some that we won’t sadly get time to experience.

Some random event will occur and take us on a different path or we might be having so much fun somewhere that we decide to adjust our plans slightly. We might even have a scene where one of us was last seen topless at 6.30am in a karaoke bar, singing ‘Livin On A Prayer’ surrounded by 14 Harajuku fan girls. One thing I do know, is that it will be a fluid trip and I REALLY hope random things like this happen.

So what better way than ending it with a video which highlights just how frentic, compact and intense Tokyo has the potential to be.

All the remains for me to say is, bring.it.on

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“I’m not sure if WE should get ready for Japan, or whether Japan should get ready for US.” Alex ‘Wain Train’ Wain Feb 2011

W.T.F Japan Tour: Kyoto Preview
Second Stop – March 15th

Kyoto, known to many in the Western world where the landmark ‘Kyoto Agreement‘ was signed, however, as you’re about to discover there’s a wealth of culture, history and tradition hidden behind those cherry blossoms.

Kyoto is located in a valley which forms part of the Yamashiro Basin, in the eastern part of the mountainous region known as the Tamba highlands. It’s surrounded on three sides by mountains known as Higashiyama, Kitayama and Nishiyama, with a height just above 1,000 metres above sea level. This interior positioning results in hot summers and cold winters – although more crisp than biting in March thankfully!

On a good day it has a population close to 1.5 million and was formerly the imperial capital of Japan in fact it was the emperor’s residence from 794 to 1868. Over the centuries, Kyoto was destroyed by many wars and fires, but due to its historic value, the city was dropped from the list of target cities for the atomic bomb and spared from air raids during World War II.

Countless temples, shrines and other historically priceless structures survive in the city today – which allows it to lay claim to being the most traditional city in Japan. These days it’s also known for being the headquarters of the famous video game company Nintendo (who’s own origins are equally as fascinating.)

One of the main sites in Kyoto, is the Zen Buddhist temple known as Golden Pavillion (it’s local name is ‘Kinkaku-ji’) it’s one of 17 World Cultural Heritage sites in Kyoto, which just goes to show the timelessness of the area itself. And whilst there’s the potential for us to get “temple fatigue” I genuinely believe this is one well worth seeing, not only for its design but for it surroundings, tranquil gardens and quiet lakes.

Nested up high in the mountains, is the Kiyomizu-dera Temple which offers breathtaking views of Kyoto itself. It’s one of the most icon landmarks in the region, on account of numerous Japanese artists portraying it through various forms of artwork. So we’ll be standing on that very balcony, who knows we might even see your house from there.

I’m sure you’ve all heard of or seen what a typical Japanese Geisha looks like. In Kyoto, it’s the Gion district where the famous Geisha and Maiko reside, visitors usually crowd Hanami-koji Street in hopes of seeing one. The buildings (like 90% of Kyoto) are again all traditional, there’s even cherry blossoms dotted between the streets.

I actually was under the impression that the Geisha and Maiko walk around in public, but apparently they typically try to avoid tourists who essentially act like paparazzi & mob them. Allegedly in many instances they will walk and disappear into a building or taxi so quickly that have to appreciate them with your eyes rather than your camera – but if we’re luckily enough to take a photo (respectfully of course) we’ll share it with you we promise.

As for the nightlife in Kyoto, we’ll be going to Pontocho Alley. Pontochō (先斗町) much like Gion, is famous for the preservation of forms of traditional architecture and entertainment. In fact, Geisha have existed in Pontochō since at least the 16th century (along with prostitution and other forms of entertainment).

Today the area, lit by traditional lanterns at night, contains a mix of geisha houses and tea houses, brothels, bars, and cheap eateries. So something for everyone basically! There’s even the Kaburenjō Theatre where twice a year Geisha perform the Kamogawa Odori, a combination of traditional dance, kabuki-like theatre, singing and the playing of traditional instruments. And even though we’ll probably miss those festivities, we’ll be making up for it by sampling the tea and obviously soaking up the sake!

Here’s short clip, which will help you visualise Kyoto in all its splendor.

So there you have it, serene gardens, stunning views, a rich & vivid nightlife and literally a step back in time. Whilst we’ll only be there for 24 hours, it’s probably one part of the trip I’m personally looking forward to the most – because Kyoto captures and displays very essence of traditional Japan. I can’t help but feel it will be 24 of the most eye-opening hours during the entire trip.

Kyoto then, the place where tranquility meets tradition.

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The first chapter of our W.T.F Japan Tour Preview

“It’s been a good 5 years since I have been overseas and I am bursting at the seams with excitement to go. Japan is the perfect destination to release the pent up need to explore the world – what better way to do it than a whirlwind trip of the craziest country on the planet?” Jesse ‘King Frog’ Perez Feb 2011

W.T.F Japan Tour: Osaka Preview
First Stop – March 11th / 15th

Osaka is Japan’s 3rd largest city by population after Tokyo (and Yokahama) and it’s located at the mouth of the Yodo River on Osaka Bay. It use to be referred to as the “nation’s kitchen” because it was the centre of trading for rice, creating the first modern future exchange market in the world.

Historically it’s the commercial capital of Japan, evident by the ratio between daytime and night time population of 141%, the highest in Japan. Its night time population is 2.6 million, the third in the country, but in daytime the population surges to 3.7 million in the city itself. Lots of busy bees working away and then retreating at night as it were.

We’ll be in Osaka for 5 days, during that time we’ll be heading out to Kyoto and a few other local regions. I actually know very little about Osaka, but one of the big draw-cards in Osaka is the imposing and world famous Osaka Castle (it’s less than a kilometre from our hotel) built way back in 1580.

So expect to see Dan, Jesse and I leaping around the grounds pretending to fight off invisible ninjas. We’ll have had extensive training I can assure you, because we’ll have already been to the Ninja Museum and battle arena.

In terms of views, every major city has a look out tower – in Sydney its Centrepoint, in Auckland its the Sky Tower and in Osaka, it’s called the Umeda Sky Building, complete with ‘Floating Garden Observatory’. It really has to be seen to be believed, because as a structure it’s unlike anything I’ve witnessed before.

You can have cocktails and a romantic dinner up there apparently – would any ladies like to volunteer to be wined and dined by Sydney’s finest? Answers on a postcard please.

Luckily enough, during our time in Osaka a short train ride will take us to the Nabana No Sato Park, where there is a current exhibition of 5.8 million LED lights illuminating the entire grounds! That’s a fair few lights as you can imagine, all glowing and blinking away with Mt Fuji quietly resting in the background. Spectacular photos guaranteed methinks. I’d imagine it would be like being in TRON….if TRON had gardens.

And sure fire highlight will be the series of events held annually from March 1 to 14 at Todaiji Temple, again not far from Osaka via train in the Nara region. The events are part of Omizutori – a collection of Buddhist repentance rituals which have been held every year for over 1250 years, making them one of the oldest reoccurring Buddhist events in Japan.

Among the many different events held during Omizutori, Shuni-e is the most famous and spectacular. Just after sunset on every night from March 1 through 14, giant torches, ranging in length from six to eight meters, are carried up to Nigatsudo’s balcony, set fire to and held over the crowd. The burning embers, that shower down from the balcony, are thought to bestow the onlookers with a safe year. I’m not entirely convinced you’d have a “safe year” if your hair caught fire and you were wearing a flammable jacket – but that’s just me.

I think Osaka will be a great introduction to Japan at the very start of the tour. Mixing the modern, with the traditional as it were – I’m sure we’ll all be buzzing having literally just stepped off the plane.

I’ll leave you with this, a little video which nicely sums up the highlights and key areas & institutions in Osaka City itself.

Seriously, we cannot wait!

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3 individuals. 3 unique cities. 336 hours to experience it all. A preview.

Over the next 14 days, starting on March 10th, 3 reprobates will traverse over 16, 229 km in 336 hours, be simultaneously ripped out of their comfort zones, collide head-on into 3 unique cities at breakneck speed, become utterly immersed by countless eye-widening sights, tastes & sounds….before rapidly coming to the sharp realization they’re going to experience at least 25 W.T.F. moments each day.

Those 3 people are Jesse , Dan and yours truly.

Japan here we come.

I’m not sure if WE should get ready for Japan, or whether Japan should get ready for US.

Before I go into details about why we’ve collectively chosen to go, here’s 20 cultural references that initially sprung to mind when I was contemplating the idea of visiting the homeland of Godzilla.

20 Things I Know They Have In Japan
1. Retina bleeding game shows.
2. Random cartoons, which make no sense (Pokémon I’m looking at you) and Hello Kitty fanatics.
3. Interactive toilets like these.
4. Awesome ninjas, which we all pretended to be as kids.
5. Anime films like AKIRA and the home of Manga.
6. Sake, karaoke bars & Japanese schoolgirls – the potent cocktail for every businessman.
7. Vending machines, which dispense anything & everything.
8. Love hotels with themed rooms.
9. Real life robots that act as waiters, dogs and even dates.
10. The mighty Godzilla, who would OWN T-Rex any day.
11. All forms of delicious sushi & rice crackers.
12. The majestic and ever present Mt Fuji.
13. The Samurai Warriors of Imperial Japan.
14. Harajuku Fashion (thanks Gwen Stefani)
15. Picturesque Cherry blossoms.
16. The stylish and timeless Kimono.
17. Literally larger than life Sumo wrestlers.
18. Millions of handheld gadgets and devices.
19. The badass Yakuza with their phenomenal tattoos.
20. 40 ft neon signs, millions of LED logos and blinking skyscrapers

Here’s a visual guide to Japan in 4 minutes.

Have I missed anything? I mean honestly, why WOULDN’T you want to go?

I must admit, there is no specific monument that I’m dying to see, I literally just want to immerse myself in the culture of Japan. I freely admit, the beautiful movie Lost In Translation had a tremendous influence on me, a modern day glimpse at the REAL Tokyo – it would be hard for anyone not to feel compelled to visit such a place after watching that film.

I’d always heard great things about Japan as a country. Several of my friends have been and none of them can speak highly enough of their time there. One of my friends Erin, loved it so much she even moved over there recently.

I’d always been intrigued by Japan’s customs, traditions & psyche as a nation. It’s paradoxical at times, the level of efficiency (their bullet trains run to the second) the cleanliness of their cities, their formal greetings & idiosyncrasies, the token Japanese ‘salary man’ – all juxtaposed with their unyielding passion for fluro tinged cartoon characters, quirky TV shows, neon lit karaoke bars, a national obsession with robots even down to the OTT nature of fashion displayed in their youth culture.

One part of their society is rigid, formalized and to an extent repressed, the other side is bursting with intensity, creativity and spontaneity. Poplar opposites, colliding everyday.

So how did this trip come about? As some of you may know, I’m a die-hard Sydney FC fan (for my sins) and this year they are playing in the Asian Champions League against a Japanese team called Kashima Antlers.

I whimsically joked with my friend Dan (co-founder of Nothing Cooler Than) that it would be awesome to go over to Japan for a few days, experience Tokyo and go and see the game.

He’d been to Tokyo before for work and was already a huge fan, so we casually looked at flights.

And there it was – the deal of a lifetime with our names on it waiting to be nabbed.

Jetstar had a sale, $560 for a return trip to Japan per person leaving around 9am from Sydney and arriving back around 9pm anytime in March. You’d have been mad not to take it.

The final piece of the puzzle saw Jesse (from the band BEARHAWK) for whom the mantra “WTF Japan?” is a life-long obsession to come onboard and join the tour. He hasn’t had a holiday in 5 years so you can imagine his level of excitement right now!

What had begun as a weeks trip to Tokyo to see Sydney FC, has now collectively morphed into a 2 week trip encompassing Osaka, Kyoto, Kashima & Tokyo.

Here’s 10 Facts You Might Not Know About Japan.
1. Raw horse meat is a popular food in Japan.
2. Mt. Fuji, the tallest mountain in Japan, is an active volcano.
3. There are four different writing systems in Japan, romaji, katakana, hiragana & kanji.
4. Coffee is very popular & Japan imports approximately 85% of Jamaica’s annual coffee production.
5. Japan’s literacy rate is almost 100%.
6. Sumo is Japan’s national sport, although baseball is also very popular.
7. There are around 1,500 earthquakes every year in Japan.
8. The term karaoke means “empty orchestra” in Japanese.
9. Geisha means “person of the arts” and the first geisha were actually men.
10. It was customary in ancient Japan for women to blacken their teeth with dye as white teeth were considered ugly.

Throughout the trip we’ll be documenting the entire experience, so once we get back expect to see the internet flooded with photos, blogs and videos from our tour! We’re also dubbing it the “W.T.F. Japan Tour” rather apt by all accounts.

We’ll also be tweeting as we go, so make sure you follow Jesse, Dan or Myself (gold star if you do all three!) because we’ll be giving you a first hand account of what is happening. Whatever we Tweet, we promise it will always be genuine, real and tangible – I’m sure they’ll be some amusing insights and heated debate going on!

I’ve put together a preview of each area, basically an online itinerary which will show you what we’ll be doing and where we’ll be going. I’d love for you to give us some suggestions or feedback, especially if there is something glaringly obvious which we’re missing out on.

Previewing: Osaka
Previewing: Kyoto
Previewing: Tokyo

Look out Japan, here we come – wish them luck.

Follow @alexwain

Many many months ago, I talked about a secret project that I’d started to work on and put together with a few partners in crime.

I’m pleased to say that the wheels are in motion and that part one, is well and truly under way.

It’s no secret that I’m a huge fan of photography – I think images say so much more about our world than scripted speeches or pseudo-intellectual quotes. The art of photography, gives a new vibrancy to the stories we tell, the memories we share and the lives we lead.

As cameras themselves have become cheaper, as people have become more versatile at using Photoshop or an iPhone app to enhance their images and as the ability to host, share and spread photos on the web has expanded through sites like Flickr or Photobucket, photography itself is booming.

And whilst you can share images with friends and take them almost effortlessly, the basic fundamental principle is that same. Is that a great photo? Is that a cool shot? Will I look at and soak it in for a few minutes? Will I go back to and remember where it was taken? Regardless of the medium, that’s the end result, for any photo. Photos have to last, and these days so few really do.

That’s why we’re creating Nothing Cooler, a community dedicated to creative and unique individuals, who are passionate about the photos they take.

We’re not attempting to mimic Flickr (of which I am one of their biggest fans) but what we do want to do, is foster a community, where creative individuals are communicating, challenging and motivating each other to take the best shot they can. If you’re not a photographer, we want you to visit the site and be truly captivated and fascinated by what you see.

We’ll be building in some really great features, like real-time stats and uploads, leader boards, contests, themes and all round general daily doses of goodness. You’ll be able to enter theme contests, vote on your favorite shots, leave comments and even have the ability to create your own personal photo profile on the web.

All for free.

We want you to see more of the world, in ways you never have before.

Nothing Cooler, will be a place where everyone can be genuinely inspired by the world around them – all captured through the lens of a total stranger.

Intrigued?

You should be.

Sign-up here, so that when we launch, you’ll be the first to know.

Can’t wait for you to start using it.

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I’m sitting here in my Dad’s office in the heart of Nofolk in the United Kingdom, overlooking the field beyond, with snow gently falling all around. It’s peacefully calm, bitingly crisp and it feels like the world has been temporarily muted – to the point where I’m not even sure what time of the day it is.

Just to show you that I’m not some whimsical writer with a habit of embelishment, here’s a video I literally just shot from being outside. This is the view from my window.

There is something really comforting and clarifying about spending a few days here in the countryside, huddled away from distractions and the general buzz of any metropolitan city.

It’s quite a therapeutic, if obviously cold experience – there’s this vast space for your thoughts, fears, hopes and dreams to run free amongst. I know that for some, it might be a bleak picture, but here, in the moment, you can smell the scent of damp leaves in the air, burning wood on log fires and hear the sound of  frosty grass crunching under your feet.

My step-brother Oliver thought it would be fun to take me into the woods and show me a camp site he built, several summers ago deep in the forest. It was a place he said “Where I could do my own thing and not have to worry about anything else.” So with trepidation and quiet excitement I ventured out with him, in search of those long lost childhood memories of the unexpected and carefree kind.

Now to give you an insight, as to what it was like –  you can see a quick video below, which I shot in the depths of the wintry forest itself.

As you can see from the clip, it was like being lost in the land of Narnia! To be perfectly, honest I was half expecting Mr Tumnas to appear next to me and ask me in for tea and biscuits.

Instead foxes, deer and Jackalope scattered past, black blurry shapes scuttling off into the distance, their footprints etched in the snow. I fought my way through the razor sharp brambles and wire fences, a little spooked and certainly overwhelmed by the beauty of it all. And I’m not ashamed to admit it, I even fell over, sliding down a ditch onto my ass.

Snow plus ditch = the perfect slide.

It really is worlds apart from my life back home in Sydney, physically and especially mentally – 22 hours to get here, but many more years between my childhood home and current dwelling. I’ve been capturing lots of photos and images, to document my 11 days here, including my trip to London.

Click on the slide show below, to see the images I’ve taken so far, I hope you like them, I’d like to think they’re an accurate portrayal of this moment.

I think it’s always nice to have photos, after all they serve as the perfect fuel to reignite lost memories don’t you think?

Hope you’re having a great start to the New Year

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