Nothing quite like the “full force of nature” is there….

I do wonder what the artist was thinking, when they decided to draw that image – but you have to admit, they have got the expressions spot on. Everytime I see it, it still gives me a chuckle. Brings a whole new meaning to the term “Team Jacob” don’t you think?

So WHY and HOW did I come across such a finely illustrated image?

Well, over the past few months (and mainly because I’m subjected to it endlessly by my peers at work) there has been a wealth of indie bands springing up every 2 hours on various pretentious “tastemaker” blogs. It turns out though, that they have quite a bit more in common than simply playing a similar style of music.

After a little research, imagine my surprise at these 8 discoveries!

1. They all have an animal related name.
2. They have at least one song with an animal in the title.
3. They all look like tedious Uni students.
4. They all sing about the changing of seasons and usually the various activities conducted by animals during said seasons.
5. They are all branded the next big thing, by the likes of Pitchfork and Hype Machine.
6. Their artwork has a very specific aesthetic, based around yep you’ve guess it, animals, collage and primitive illustrations.
6. 95% of them suck.
7.  Hipsters love them.
8. A least one member in the band has a beard.

Now before you think I’m making all of this up, I’ve actually put together a playlist, comprised ENTIRELY of indie bands with animal names – just so you can fully grasp how ridiculous the whole thing has become. (To date I have 91, I’m trying to get to 100.)

Have a listen to my official indie bands with animal names playlist here.

Frightening isn’t it….

And the deeper I researched, the scarier it became. As I stumbled across such shockingly bad names as – Summer Cats, Sue And The Unicorn, Seabear, Owl + Moth, Freelance Whales, Bear Hands, Collections Of Colonies of Bees, Ultra Dolphins, Avery Tear And Panda Bear, Brown Bear Black Bear, Grizzly Bear, Frightened Rabbits, White Rabbits, Fleet Foxes and without a doubt, the worst of all Part Wild Horses Mane On Both Sides.

It is utterly bizarre to me, that a genre of music can be so limp-wristed and cliched. I’m well aware of the fact, that death metal bands for instance have utterly ridiculous names – but that specific genre has been around for over 20 years. These indie bands have literally only been around since the start of maybe 2004 onwards. I can’t understand, why they all have to look the same, sound the same and then give themselves the same name – it’s like this odd indie checklist they all go through prior to releasing anything.

Here’s a video from “Seabear” complete with random montages of the woods, inoffensive bland vocals that could be anyone and someone who looks pretty much like those tedious Uni students I was mentioning before.

But thankfully, help is at hand.

There is one band, one indie artist, one genuine talent, one great hope – that stands tall, looming large over them all.

Yes BEARHAWK.

Who’s music sends you into such a state, you almost forget to use adjectives. Almost.

And really, I don’t need to say anything else about them – because you should already know how amazing they are. If you don’t, please don’t embarrass yourself by telling your friends you’ve not yet heard them – that would be tragic and cause you to appear musically and culturally bankrupt.

Instead, educate yourself by visiting their official site and experiencing the creme de la creme of everything indie.

Oh and for all you hipster kids, with your touch-type-net-speak  - please abbreviate to BRHWK  - that’s mandatory for any indie loving “I think I’m a professional photographer because I’ve installed the Lomo camera app on my iPhone” fan.

Much appreciated.

Follow @alexwain

p.s. Disclaimer: I may or may not be involved with BRHWK.

Devildriver

I’m off to go and see these guys live with 36 Crazyfists Sydney next month – let me see those devil horns!

DevilDriver – I Could Care Less

From AllMusic.com
DevilDriver has amplified every facet of their sound. They’ve turned their backs on the kind of plodding melodic obviousness that kills credibility on the raging metal side, instead hardwiring a vicious catchiness right into the guitar lines and Fafara’s esophageal grind. Drummer John Boecklin slays on “Bear Witness Unto” and in the furious time-shifts of opener “End of the Line”; actually, Boecklin pretty much slays throughoutFury. “Grinf**cked,” besides having the best name on the record, also exemplifies DevilDriver’s union of black melody to razor-sharp playing. “Pale Horse Apocalypse” is a traditionalist thrash workout, and “Before the Hangman’s Noose” approaches the hard-tack American metal of Lamb of God.

The slower pace, spiritualism, and double bass tussles of “Sin & Sacrifice” seem like a tribute to European metal. Fury of Our Maker’s Hand is such a severe turn away from the falter of their first album — and a turn toward something hungry, focused, and ready to be devoured by metal faithful everywhere — that DevilDriver may have made their true debut the second time around.

Listen to them on their official MySpace page.

Alex