So 5 days and 1,926 kilometers later, my whirlwind holiday with my partner in crime, the one and only Yummy Yasmin, has sadly come to an end – boooo!. (This is why I went down)

But there’s much to celebrate, in fact, so much happened in such a short space of time, that I’m desperately writing it all down to share it with you, before I forget some of the situations and highlights, in what was a frenetic and fun few days.

(I’m going to split the trip into two blog entries, because otherwise we’ll both be here all day. So think of this as the first act, with the second act to follow in a few days.)

Now for anyone that has flown to Melbourne from Sydney, this shouldn’t come as much of a surprise, but no sooner had we taken off from Sydney’s domestic terminal, we landed in Melbourne!

One of the shortest and thankfully smoothest flights I’ve ever been on (and trust me I’ve spent a bit of time whizzing around in the air) quite why anyone would consider driving for 12 hours in a crammed car, crawling along the motorway, when it’s nearly as cheap, certainly a lot easier easy and much faster to fly is any-one’s guess.

I was really impressed with Virgin Blue as whole and the longstanding cliche of their attractive, tall, slim blond air-hostess certainly got a chuckle out of me. Quite how Mr Richard Branson gets around workplace discrimination I’ll never know, but hey for eye-candy value alone, you certainly won’t hear me complaining.

During our stay, home for the next 72 hours, would be the 5 -Star Como Hotel in South Yarra, situated no less than on one of the main shopping areas in Melbourne, Chapel Street.

I’ve been to Melbourne a few times, yet never been to South Yarra before. What I’d been told held true, it’s undeniably an affluent area, similar to Paddington / Woolahra in Sydney, with lots of boutique shops, filled with lots of upper and middle class Caucasian people, all looking rather fashionable, the chaps with their Ray Bans, the ladies direct from the salon with their freshly styled hair.

The wah? Who? Erm....

And yet for all the obvious money on display, the locals fluttered past displaying an air of confidence, without ever coming close to being pretentious – which was both refreshing and rarely seen in Sydney. They didn’t seem to have to prove a point, maybe the notion that Melbourne has an inferiority complex, is merely a myth?

Chapel Street is actually a really long stretch of shops that spans several different suburbs. When you’re leaving one and crossing over into another, you can immediately feel the entire aesthetic of the area change literally from one meter to the next. High fashion outlets, suddenly morph into second hand bookstores, whilst the Prada shoes which once tapped on the sidewalk next to you, become replaced with the flip flop echo of a pair of Havana’s.

Life imitating art

One particular shop, was a Halloween store, or rather a store which pretty much had every sort of Halloween inspired, witchy, spooky, gothic attire ones little black heart could desire. It also had some fucking HUGE replica spiders dangling from various devices throughout the shop.

However, they were all unbeknown to me as I walked in (you can see where this is going right?). I turned around only to be confronted with a ginormous black hairy tarantula, legs fanned out on the ledge next to me! It was so big, heavy and bulky in its appearance, it could have literally have been used as a doorstop!

If I went to burgle a house and was confronted with that on the floor as I opened the door, rest assured I would be a mere dot disappearing over the horizon!

Rather worryingly, out of the corner of my eye, I could see another one dangling in the center of a web and to my utter horror within seconds, I started seeing them all around the shop, yes it turns out, I was literally surround by a den of large black threatening spiders in all shapes and sizes. Some where hairy, some had fangs, some were in webs and some were made of shiny black rubber.

It was the stuff of nightmares, honestly.

I’m not ashamed to admit, I have a genuine phobia of spiders, anyone who knows me well, is aware that I simply can’t handle being near them, real or not. Upon the realisation that I was almost certainly surrounded  by the damn things, the room started spinning and I felt suddenly out of breath, so I closed my eyes stumbling towards the exit, fearing that I might be confronted with even more, as I made my escape.

I was so stressed out by the whole ordeal, I literally had to sit on the street for a few minutes to catch my breath  and regain some semblance of composure

It got me thinking, though, that there should be warning signs in shops like that, for people who suffer from the very real fear of arachnophobia?

When you going to concert or a exhibit that uses strobe lights, people with epilepsy are given advanced warning, am I right? So if you have a phobia of a certain creature (and I think a high proportion of people have a strong fear of or keen dislike for spiders in general anyway), don’t you think a shop which sells them or their likeness, should providing warnings as well?

I know if they had, I wouldn’t have had to endure such a panic attack.

Yet strangely enough, it’s moments like this, which holidays are made up of, for better or worse. But, as you can imagine, I shan’t be revisiting that shop anytime soon.

Later that night, before the first of 2 Marilyn Manson shows at the festival hall, we went to an All-American themed diner called ‘Sodarock’. When I say “All-American” it genuinely was, old-skool jukebox machines blaring out 1960’s swing, a life sized Elvis Presley and amusingly enough, they even served “Spiders” (2 scoops of vanilla-ice cream into a flavored soda) on the menu.

But the real highlight of the experience came half way through our meal, when the entire staff of the restaurant suddenly leaped from behind the counter and promptly started to dance in unison to ‘Shake Your Tailfeather’ by Ray Charles & Blues Brothers Band.

Clearly rehearsed, it never the less had the entire restaurant grinning from ear to ear (myself included) in apparent confusion and surprise. Synchronized, dancing 1960’s waitress’s, rounds of applause and a yummy meal who would have thought?

Now, as you know, the main reason I flew to Melbourne, was to see Marilyn Manson on tour (dedicated fan I know!) I actually ended up seeing him 4 times in 5 days.

Marilyn Manson On Tour 2009

Melbourne Festival Hall Saturday October 10th 2009 (sold out)
Melbourne Festival Hall Saturday October 11th 2009
Sydney Enmore Theatre Tuesday October 13th 2009
Sydney The Hordern Pavillion October 14th (sold out)

Now I don’t want to bore you with all the details, if you’re not a fan, little of it will make much sense anyway, SO here’s a summary spanning the 4 shows, otherwise I’ll be here all day haha.

1. Melbourne crowds are vastly different to Sydney ones. Much more subdued and docile. In fact, most of them seem to be utterly obsessed with taking photos of themselves during the show, than actually watching it.

2. The Festival Hall in Melbourne, has a really shit P.A. system, the whole venue actually reminded me of a sports gymnasium

3.  The best show by a long long way, was the final one I saw at the Hordern Pavillion. Best crowd, strong performance and decent sound.

4. He’s certainly done better tours, but I did like the striped back approach this time. More about the music, less about the theatrics.

5. Decent setlist, would have liked to have heard something from The Golden Age of Grotesque album though.

6. He’s still got it and for the most part, was in good spirits “You do realize Melbourne, that I am the man, with the golden dick?” haha although he is looking a little older now. He’s certainly not over-weight, as the press may have lead you to believe – trust me, I got a good look being so close to the front of the stage

7. Standout track of the entire tour strangely enough, was Dope Show, crowd loved it on all 4 occasions. Lowlight, the rather flat version of Tourniquet at both Melbourne shows and ridiculously over-priced merch. $125 for a hoodie, wah?

8. He played one less song at both Sydney shows. So Melbourne, I guess you got more value of money! Tourniquet, was left out (and not replaced either) at both Sydney shows, not sure why.

9. Twiggy was awesome as usual.

10. The Sydney crowds had more energy, made more noise and had a much bigger and better mosh.

Finally, here’s some photos from Melbourne and here’s a playlist I put together, featuring some of my favorite tracks.

After the 1st show, Yasmin and I headed back to the city, on a mission to find a nice bar to see out the night with. Whilst it’s clearly a tourist destination, some of the bars and restaurants at the Crown Casino Complex are actually really good, and with a view on the Yarra River complete with soft city lighting, they turn out to be perfect place to end an evening.

Decisions, decisions....

We ended up going to a little place called Nobu where we had some rather yummy cocktails, I can’t for the life of me remember what was in them, but I do remember thinking I could pretty much drink them for eternity they were that good. It was quite funny really, going from the hooded PVC gothic hordes of the concert with their plastic cups of VB, to the sharp suits and dim lighting of one of Melbourne’s finest cocktail lounges. Nobu then, two thumbs up from me.

After that, it was back to the hotel for an amazing spa bath, THE perfect way to end the day. I really wish I had one of those in my own house, ah the novelty of hotels – I could have stayed in that spa forever after spending nearly 16 hours on my feet all day.

So there you have it, day one, easy flight, the beautiful people, dancing waiters, spiders of vengeance, sweaty goths, lip smackin’ cocktails and walks along the Yarra River at night.

Now if you thought that was decent first day, wait until I post my review & photos from the second day. A Trip To Melbourne – Act 2, will follow soon.

Until then, isn’t it about time that YOU booked a holiday? Go on, after reading all that, you know you want to haha.

Alex

Look at how successful the movies of Tim Burton have been (Nightmare Before Christmas, Edward Scissor Hands, Sleepy Hollow, Beetlejuice, The Corpses Bride). Listen to some of the most popular alternative bands, The Cure, Marilyn Manson, Nine Inch Nails, Lamb Of God, Dimmu Borger, Interpol & My Chemical Romance.

Experience some of the most successful movie and book franchises in recent times, Friday 13th, Nightmare On Elm Street, Requiem For A Dream, The Terminator movies, Batman series, the Harry Potter sensation, SAW series, The Watchmen, Sin City, Stephen King adaptations and more recently Twilight – the list goes on.

All vastly removed from the clean, vanilla, inoffensive-by-the-numbers fare which we’re usually subjected to.

All those examples, are designed to appeal to that little deviant in us all, especially if you’re an impressionable teenager. But in reality, very little of it is TRULY rebellious, evil or worthy of outcry. I’m not saying their motivates are any less genuine than anyone else’s, but you can’t be truly subversive and be seen at Greater Union cinemas or available “from all good retailers” without compromising somewhere along the line.

I realize this is an extreme example, but Hitler’s Mein Kampf , a book that is not only harrowing, sinister and down right evil, and which is available commercially, has never been edited, compromised or dumb down.

I think if you really wanted to get a reaction, rather than reading your FHM magazine in high school with pictures of girls in underwear or using whiteout to write down the latest band your parents hate on your bag, go to school with a copy of Mein Kampf, under your arm, I’m sure you’d get a far different reaction.

And you know why? Because Mein Kampf, for all its misguided and waywardness, is a real form of expression from someone who constantly sought new ways to control the world (whilst instigating genocide). You can’t get much more hardcore than that.

I think it’s a great shame that a lot of true art is sanitized these days because we all have to be politically correct. Roal Dahl has written some truly macabre stories for adults, yet few are aware of that aspect of his work. Most think he’s merely a children’s writer, and for a while I did too. But his adult novels are genuinely twisted and often thrilling reads.

To find material and media, which is both dark in tone and without the shackles of commercialism attached to it, you have to delve back into the past – before corporations approved budgets and final drafts….

When you go back in time, incidents, which now seem quite unspectacular, caused tremendous outcry during certain periods. A girl in stockings is not particularly offensive to anyone these days and yet in the Victorian Era they had trousers on piano legs because they were deemed to “salacious”. During his early years, Elvis wasn’t allowed to be filmed below the waist, as he was alledgedly the “work of Satan”. To everyone these days, he’s simply known as the King Of Rock N Roll.

A writer such as Lewis Carroll (Alice In Wonderland) was both artistic and uncompromising, yet equally subversive. Those traits, I think, are rare qualities amongst the current generation of writers, artists and musicians.

I’ve been reading the works of Edgar Allen Poe, now for those of you who aren’t familiar, he was an American poet, short story writer, editor and critic and one of the leaders of the American Romantics. Best known for his tales of unbridled horror and his intoxicating poetry, he was also one of the early practitioners of the short story, not to mention a progenitor of Gothic fiction in the United States during the 1800’s. Even his death, is shrouded in mysterious and strange circumstances…

I’m quite inspired by people such as Poe and I think Carroll has created some wonderful imagery for the world to continue to enjoy. But you have to really make an attempt to seek out these characters and I think its about time we did, as the world becomes more and more sanitised, homogenised and politically correct, the more and more relevant our history becomes.

It’s a way of reminding ourselves and giving hope that there was a time, when creativity and imagination wasn’t frowned upon, but rather encouraged and given an avenue to seep into the mainstream, however minor it was.

Nowadays, you can’t even peacefully protest outside The White House. I have a friend, who runs a club called “Rock N Roll Motherfucker”. Recently they had to change their name, because the cops complained that their flyers and artwork contain profanities.

Personally, I’d prefer the cops to be out doing their job arresting rapists and violent criminals – but that’s just me. What is the world coming to?

I’m sure Poe and Carroll would have approved…

Alex

Occasionally, it’s nice to do lots of things over the weekend. For one, it makes it feel longer and secondly, allows you to really occupy your mind with something else, rather than the pressures of work Monday-Friday. Some weekends, especially after an intense week, I just want to be as lazy as possible – but this weekend was a little different. I actually got out of the house for starters

Yummy Yasmin, out of the kindness of her heart, took me to see The  Alchemist, a play by the Bell Shakespeare group, performed live at the Playhouse within the Sydney Opera House. I have to say, I really did enjoy it, some of the actors were fantastically larger-than-life, but 135 minutes, with no interval made it a bit hard going at times.

The dialogue, scenes and story were all so fast paced, that there were times when I wasn’t able to keep up or quite make sense of what was happening to who, why and when! That aside, it certainly had it’s moments and I’m really glad I got the opportunity to go, as I’d been wanting to for some while. You can read more about it and book tickets here

I also went and saw Swedish horror film, “Let The Right One In” a movie which scored 97% on Rotten Tomatoes (113 postivie reviews out of 116) David Statton of At The Movies fame even said…

“Transcending its grim theme, this is an astonishingly beautiful and visually inventive film that explores the cliches of the vampire genre with a deft, everyday approach.”

I thought it was beautifully shot and acted and it made Twilight look like the cheap, dumbed down, crass, Americanised version of a similar story.

I really recommended you take some time out to go see it. I’m not the biggest fan of horror, but it’s done in such as way in “Let The Right One In” that it isn’t overly terrifying, in fact, you almost agree with it at times. Below is a preview for you. 

And finally, what weekend would be complete, without spending some time with your friends eh?

You can see more photos from the Friday night shenaningans here.

Enjoy,
Alex

Each week I hunt for artists to feature on MySpace Arts & Culture, and without fail each week my jaw just repeatedly keeps hitting the floor. The sheer number of talented people out there is beyond belief!

So as part of my on-going journey of discovering cool and wonderfully gifted artists, this week I want to introduce to an artist who goes by the name of GRAPHEART.

He’s 27, hails from France and is the creator of some really kooky little characters. To me it has a few touches of the Garbage Pail Kids about it.

Check out his MySpace profile and add him as a friend, or visit his official site to purchase prints and find a little more about him!

Hope you’re well,
Alex